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    Can't Sleep
    soulkeepers posted:
    Feels like my mind is running a marathon with info.It's been processing at a fast speed for hours and silly me forgot to pick up a script to help me sleep and my anxiety.I get extremely anxious when darkness fall.

    I feel like a banana whipped to mush.And times like a gift from the devil that no one wants cause they're be dabbling with the devil.

    I'm check my cabinets to see what I can find.Maybe a cup of sleepy time tea will help,if I have any in the house.Maybe my mind will slow down soon or later.
    soulkeepers responded:
    No tea and no sleep
    Demons2011 replied to soulkeepers's response:
    Sometimes I am able to clear my mind by focusing on every detail of my favorite meadow. It may not be there any more, progress you know, but it's one of my favorite memories of Yellowstone.
    soulkeepers replied to Demons2011's response:

    Thanks for your input and words of advice.I dropped off my script and it should be ready in a couple of hours.When my system is in an uproar I can go for hours and sometimes days without sleep.Focusing on something works better with the the sleep med if not then I'll just keep popping up and down all night.

    Without sleep I can get into some bad things or situations without thinking straight or twice.
    So hopefully tonight I'll get a full night's sleep or a few hours at least.I function a little more with sleep and less moody or angry. In my case I need a lot of it to be able to interact in my day to day life.

    I'm keep my fingers cross and hope for a lot of sleep tonight.For me and whoever else needs some shuteye.

    Again thanks
    Demons2011 replied to soulkeepers's response:
    Soulkeepers, I understand the sleep deprivation, gone as long as 72 hours without any sleep. Fortunately that hasn't happened in over a year. I used to average about 4 hours of sleep for a very long time. Lately, the last couple of months have been better, getting 5-6 hours per night. Mostly due to the meadow meditation. I don't take much in the way of drugs, the ones I have tried tend to give me side effects, anger, memory loss, stomach issues, the skin crawling; etc.Still having plenty of ups and downs - typical roller coaster. Just know you're not alone.
    soulkeepers replied to Demons2011's response:

    Glad to hear that your sleeping pattern has been gotten better but we still need at least eight hours of rest.Yes some meds can have a nasty effect on most people and I understand why they stay clear of them.

    Everyone has to find what works for them and if what you are doing is working then stay with it.I'm on four meds right in order to be somewhat functional day to day.Today is one of those off days where I just tuck myself away from the world around me.

    I know you say I'm not alone but I am alone in every possible way I can imagine.
    itmatsb replied to soulkeepers's response:
    You don't say what your prescription was for. When you say that you can go days without sleep, and some of your other descriptions about the way that you feel, it is very important to copy exactly what you have said on here and give it to your doctor because you may need an entirely different medication. If you've only gotten a medication for sleep, then you're probably not taking the right one. Please do talk to your doctor before you get into more bad things. Your behavior could cause you severe problems for a long time. Good luck to you.
    soulkeepers replied to itmatsb's response:

    I take meds for depression,sleep,anxiety and for other issues.It so happen that I got sidetracked and forgot to pick up my script.The meds that I'm on does what they are suppose to as far as things go.It took years to find this combo of meds and therapy and at times it still is hard when a person is dealing with more than one mental illness.

    The sleep med is for when I'm in a internal battle with my system. With DID(disassociate identity disorder) The meds calms my system to the point where the body can relax and fall asleep.Going without sleep for more than two days can lead to trouble but that hasn't been the case lately.

    I can tell you that the underline problem that leads to bad things doesn't stand with my meds for sure.And I've have big problems for a long time and it has nothing to do with my behavior or mental status.Which is the foundation for my anger but I try to direct it in a positive way.That's where group therapy comes in,I go three times a week and have been for months.

    But you know you really can't tell what may happen on a day to day basis.

    Thanks for listening
    itmatsb replied to soulkeepers's response:
    It sounds like you are doing a lot to help yourself. Good for you. I wish you the best.
    beckyp123 responded:
    You sound like you are having racing thoughts and coupled with the insomnia you may be manic. YOu should probably discuss the possibility that you may have bipolar with your doctor.
    sandylion503 replied to soulkeepers's response:
    Soulkeeper, your description here could have been written word for word to describe me. I deal with Depression, anxiety, panic attacks and DID. There are many nights that my mind will not shut down and with lack of sleep the DID often wins out and that's when bad things happen.
    I know you feel alone -- so do I, so I won't try to give you any advice. I just want to let you know that there is another person who knows what you are going through..

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