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Help please
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An_247746 posted:
I'm 18 and haven't graduated high school yet. I'm doing a concurrent enrollment program with a community college so I wont be too far behind. Even though Im in the program, I feel like I'm not doing anything right. I feel like I don't belong at school or in a school environment. It's just not for me but I have to do it for my parents, I feel like I owe them a lot. I just feel like a failure waiting to happen. I've had a passion for music ever since I was younger but slowly, it's going away. I still write everyday but it's just less and less as the days go by. Sometimes I don't write at all. I've lost all of my closest friends. I still talk to people and we hang out but I know it's different and I know they say me as a dumbass or whatever. My only best friend is my older sister and I feel like I'm a burden on her when I talk about my problems. I keep asking my parents for a therapist or psychiatrist but no one seems to care enough to look. They looked for a day and then gave up. I don't know who to go to, what to do, or what I'm even doing. I smoke marijuana regularly because it's hard to handle life right now. Lately I've been cutting down and I hope to stop soon. I've always been the odd one out so I've been living with self-doubt and negativity for a while. I just want to be happy, positive, and successful. I have good intentions but I guess it isn't enough.

I feel mentally unstable. I can't make up my mind, I don't have a diet or a sleep schedule. I can't focus on school work because all I do is think. Its gotten to the point where I don't even know if I'm perceiving things the right way. I question my every move, my thoughts, my existence. Its progressively getting worse and harder to handle. I just need some guidance or unbiased advise. My sister and her boyfriend tell me I'm smart all the time but it's probably because they have to and they want me to feel better about myself. I'm very insecure. I'm short (5'5") for my age and all of my friends are 5'7" and up. I can't seem to gain weight no matter how much I eat. I've watched my life go in a downwards spiral and theres nothing I can do to stop it.
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi Anon -

I am so sorry to hear how you are struggling, but so glad you found us to talk about how you are feeling and so proud of you for reaching out for help!

It's good to know you have an interest in music. Does your college have any classes, clubs, bands, choirs, drama/musical groups you could join in addition to your regular classes? May be a nice diversion and fun to participate in something you enjoy.

Talk with your parents and your sister again, print or write what you have written here. They may not know how bad you are feeling. Please check with your college to see if they have a therapist or counselor you can talk with? Please make an appointment with your medical doctor, they may be able to help.

To talk with someone over the phone, check out this Crisis Assistance link. The Hopeline has a Program link for students and a Get Help Now link for teen to teen peer counseling.

Please check back in to let us know how you are doing,
Elizabeth
 
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itmatsb responded:
Yes, Most high schools and colleges have a counselor that you could talk to. Also look into the link listed above by Elizabeth.

You are smart if you're doing a community college program at the same time as you're in high school. And many of your doubts are common in young people. But, yes, you definately need someone to talk with.

Perhaps the Community College program is too much in addition to high school? Most people in high school aren't smart enough to do both.

And the fact that you are smoking marijuana could greatly affect your performance in school. That could well account for the changes that you are noticing. I understand why you have been smoking it regularly as a "medication" for your unhappiness, but I applaud you greatly for trying to cut down on the marijuana. It can cause worse damage to your lungs than cigarettes and also cause problems to your brain.

You write a lot of days? That's terrific. Extremely few people write every day. For you to judge yourself about that isn't right.

Friends change a lot when you're younger. It doesn't mean that anything is wrong about you with that simple fact. Many girls are 5'5" and even shorter than you are. There's nothing wrong with that. I was 5'8" and hated that I was too tall, especially for a lot of the boys. Girls usually find something physically about themselves that they wish was different. And you should appreciate your low weight, because as you get older it is often a big challenge to keep from getting overweight.

I could go on and on, but you really need to find someone to talk to that you will feel is not a biased family member. But your sister and her boyfriend are telling you the truth, believe it or not, that you are smart.

Good luck with finding someone to get counseling from. And if you don't find the person is helpful, remember that they are only people and that they can be a bad fit with you. But give them a chance first.

From what you have said about yourself, it sounds like you have a very promising future ahead for you. I wish you the very best.


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