Depression Community

I'm here and checking in...just sort of getting through one day at a time. My DH is gone until Monday, will have been almost 2 weeks at that point. This last few days of countdown is the hardest!
My dad wants to come visit Sunday, and while I said yes to it, I don't really want him to come. Things between us aren't the best and he's trying to "make up" so to speak, but somehow ever since the miscarriage I haven't really wanted him in my life. Even though I'm pregnant again I feel like I'm just in this holding pattern. I'm not really interested in laughing and being silly...and he always wants to try to ham it up (even though he's not really all that funny---more corny than anything). I guess I just don't really feel like involving him in my life, but at the same time I don't want to tell him to get lost cause then he'll be all butt-hurt (he's a moper). Ugh. Some relationships are so complicated! It was easier when I wasn't speaking to him.

Thursday the 20th I'll have my first OB visit and ultrasound. The day I'm going, my current pregnancy will be the same gestational age as the baby was that I lost when they dated it by ultrasound. I'm just hoping that at this critical point that everything will be ok.

Hi, I am still here too, Haven't been doing so well. I just don't know what to do to motivate myself to get out of this terrible rutt I am in.
I am a football fan too and Hockey. I have been wanting to go to a game but I would have to go by myself, ugh! And I would have to take a bus, and I have the worst sense of direction, I probably would end up in another City! Nowhere near the game.
Hope you have a great weekend.

tfu

Hi I'm here. First weekend off in forever. That place is really stressing me out. I'm sick when I go in and I'm angry and depressed when I come out. Not that I'm not already depressed. Anyway today I was outside taping up the new shed that we got to replace the one the hurricane destroyed last year. Have to paint it so it matches all the other structures in our yard. Damn covents. Feel a little better today except for the fact that my husband was acting like I was a 2 year old telling me what to do. He makes me feel syupid and unintellegent. Tomorrow is another day but I'll be back outside getting orders

I've been struggling somewhat lately with a lot of exhaustion. Going to bed early, most nights. Seeing therapist on Monday - didn't see her on the 4th like scheduled - she cancelled. Still haven't heard why - who knows could have been major or minor. I'll see what's said Monday.

I have been getting to grandsons football games, but would rather sit by self. Those are fun to watch. Little Heathen. To much isolation outside of work. Guessing the only reason I am on today is the time 400 AM on a Sunday morning.

Huskers had a scare with their head coach, but sounds like he's fine. Other coaches which had to finish 2nd half of game did a good job, got real emotional when talking about Pelini. I stopped in a small town bar so as to see the last 10 minutes of the Nebraska/Ark. St. game. A beer , burger and fries - not to bad, hand made. Other folks don't know how rabid most this state is on game days. Standing joke about it is that Memorial Stadium is the tSeems like a ghost town in most areas when the Huskers are playing. Of course - out here with us hicks there isn't much else do. Chase cows most Saturday nights. Just so we can tip them over.


True story, I had to pick up a person from CT at airport. First thing said was will I be able to see the Indians. So, I took them where we keep them on display. Seemed real disappointed when they couldn't see cattle being driven down Dodge St. Geez, talk about an idiot.

Since I hit the wrong key I'll finish the joke here. Memorial Stadium is the the third largest city in Nebraska every home game. 85,000 people in one stadium, fun atmosphere.

Hi Elizabeth and others
I haven't been around much lately, no real reason to be honest. I have been going through therapy, my goodness isn't that an interesting process!!!
Anyway, I have had a couple of highs, which have been nice but sadly appear to show just how bad the low's can be. I have done a few very stupid things but have to say, here I am still so there must be a strong voice within keeping me here or him on high is having a say, either way after a week of wishing I didn't wake up, I got to Thursday and was able to say thank god and have asked frequently since, please keep me in this frame of mind.
Tonight, I am feeling quite strong and going to answer some posts, I feel that is the best I can do, post when strong and sit and observe when not so strong.
I hope all understand,
Sending lots of love and hugs along with some excess strength to you all
Chez x

Good Lord yes we understand. Why do think I haven't been on much lately.

Possible Trigger......................................................................................
Hey everyone, i am selfish, i thought depression was keeping her from going out - now i know it was her stubbornness to tell me she was having trouble wallking - or worse i blew it off due to her depression after her father died...i.e. enabling her..... i have been trying to hold it together - the one i love and have been together for 24 years is not doing well. dr.s don't know what is wrong with her. i can't imagine life without her......i am so afraid of losing her i can't function, other than make sure she has what she needs. i'm so scared as i know she is, but wont talk about it. if i had 'faith' it might be different, but life has left me bitter with those who are 'preaching' the word of their god - first thing they ask for is donations......money? really? utilizing 'god' to abuse children....etc.
i believe most religions are cults. i try to 'pray', but i know the creator (i know there is one, i just don't know what their function is.....i.e. shake up the snowglobe we are in when things are going well for their ammusement.........they know my faith is not strong - therefore why should they listen much less answer. unfortunately my prayers are heartfelt - but are said without heart (as i don't believe that the creater is out there to help, only to watch with ammusement)...... No replies needed..... sorry if i offended anyones religious beliefs....i'm just lost.'
I have missed you all and hope you all are doing ok.
Sending losts of HUGGS AND LOVE YOUR WAY :}

Hello Everyone,

I haven't been posting as much and haven't really been around here but it's because I've been doing good lately. I'm not really sure what has changed for me, things are stilll sort of the same but I feel like I can handle life a bit more. I notice I feel good.

Stopped by to say hi though, and to let you know I'm still thinking of all of you.

Hugs to those that need it.

Hey nf
I so feel your pain here, please don't criticise yourself so much. You are going through so much just now and to have someone else close who is also having problems, is just awful for you.
Please remember we are here for you and want to hear from you no matter how you are feeling or what is happening with you.
Take lots of care and sending you hugs and love
Chez x

Niteflyer, sorry to hear the struggles are so persistent right now. For now each of us is intitled to our belief systems. So no offense taken. You and I have differing views and I am perfectly Ok with that.

So sorry to hear about the one you care so much about. Guessing there is a bit more than depression going on there. I haven't been on much, so I have missed more than a few posts.

I miss some of your new art work. Have you been trying more?