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    Unwanted
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    Sasa2676 posted:
    Im sure I'm not the first one to say that I feel unwanted in life. I try to look at the positives but the feeling out weighs everything. I have become a nuisance to everyone around me it seems. I can't afford counseling or medication due to no insurance. I have spoken to some of few people I trust and they can't understand how I feel. Since my separation and eventual divorce I can't establish relationships. I either get used or ignored entirely. My friends would say that it's the man's loss but I always feel like the loser or just damaged goods. I've been battling depression for 25 years and attempted suicide more than once. I try to look on the bright side but it's hard to with debt, no job, and trying to go to school. I always wondered if anyone would care if I was gone. Maybe my children will but I doubt others. I don't know what to do anymore.
     
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    Ilbeityetanotherpainpatient responded:
    I'm new here but feel what you're going through. I can only share what works for me. Volunteering my time (even though I have little cause I have kid too) at my son's school helping young ones with reading difficulties. It's 45 minutes of time spent with a young one who feels so special, loved because of the undivided attention he receives. The experience helps me to redirect and also reflect on what it felt like when someone reached out to me as a child. It helps. I also love animals & have considered playing a foster parent, but that would be spreading myself too thin. I would like to hear more about your story if you want, or you can ask me anything. Shifting focus helps. I hope I can remember to come back & check here. Seems like a nice forum. Take special care of yourself, PainPatient
     
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    chez1 responded:
    Hi Sasa
    I am just reading your post, things here on this forum have been quite quiet this past few weeks so not sure how many have read your post, which doesn't help if you already feel unwanted.
    I just want to say, here on this forum, you are wanted and you important. We all care and want to hear from you. We may not always be able to offer timely advice but do try to ensure that everyone feels safe and secure to express what is important to them.
    From what I am reading you have been fighting a huge battle for a longtime and although I see you have often preferred not to be here, you are and you are reaching out to others, well done you - that is an amazing achievement.
    Believe me when I say this, I know it is hard for you to understand that others would care and notice if you were gone, you would be missed greatly and that loss would have a massive impact on others. I also understand, debt, studying and working. I live in the UK so do not have medical expenses to worry about but all the rest definitely have an impact, but you/we cannot allow these restrictions dictate on how we move forward and aim to feel better.
    Oh me, big rant, not aimed at you, I am sending you hugs and caring thoughts x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
     
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    soul3 responded:
    Hi Sasa, I'm new to this. But i could relate to your're post. Just last year i lost my job. I have no income coming in.I had to move in with my sister in her family, wich i'm very gratefull for ... But one thing i could tell you that even though i have nothing i do have the love of my three sons. That's the reason i haven't giving up on life.. And that for me is a Great reason no't to give up.... (:
     
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    dwashvp replied to soul3's response:
    As i go along my roller coaster ride called life, i wonder who do i talk to when there's no one around? when my thinking is in another atmosphere, but i'm not suicidal? who do i tell my good feelings to when everyone seems busy? how many naps do i need to take to avoid having a conversation? how many journal entries do i write before i realize there's no one to read them? how do i handle my thoughts between group and individual therapy sessions? where do i go when there's no invitation, who do i turn to when no one wants to face me? how can i share when i trust no one? the loneliness never goes away. sometimes happy moments will come and go, but they never stay for long stretches. who do i bother, when no one bothers me.
     
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    zaketaz replied to dwashvp's response:
    I just read that on a different post also, Sasa2676 is there a health dept that helps with medical, there is a clinic that runs on a sliding scale, and I have no insurance either, but I am able to get help through there If you haven't looked into it, it maybe worth a shot. We have a few Mental clinic that are around me that will see someone who is in desperate need. My therapist suggested I go to the web site facingus.org and utilize the site. I did and it has helped. It has some good tips on there also
     
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    chez1 replied to dwashvp's response:
    hi dwashvp
    I have just responded to your own post but I want to add here that what you have written in this post could have been written by me as I have similar thoughts and belief's. However, I have to say when seeing it written and knowing it is not me who has written it I get that it is "depression" that is leading the thoughts, how else could we both feel exactly the same.
    So with thinking that way, I realise that I do have people to tell and there are people to read my journals and to speak to, I choose not to ask them because I do not want to burden them but I know that they would rather hear from me than know I was suffering alone.
    I think I am trying to urge you to take a step back and look in from an outsiders point of view and see if you can think of someone that does care and would like to hear from you.
    Please take good care of yourself
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
     
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    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, S --

    you also have some responses at your duplicate post, http://forums.webmd.com/3/depression-exchange/forum/9317 .

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.


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