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    Why these thoughts?
    zaketaz posted:
    [TRIGGER] I am being treated for Depression and Bipolar. I have had suicidal thoughts and medication has helped, but these past few months have been hard. Last month my son's best friend from school killed himself and 3 days later my friends son killed himself. I had to go to the memorials and I sat there listening to everyone ask WHY? As I sat there I could understand WHY and at the same time why didn't they seek help, but I also realize that isn't easy. These thoughts keep coming back up in my head, but at the same time I don't want to go through it. Today there was another suicide, another friends husband killed himself. As I was sitting there with my head spinning and thoughts racing, I kept thinking how can they do it? More specifically How can they do it and why can't I?
    I hate having these thoughts and don't know how to stop them from playing over and over
    Jeune1 responded:
    [TRIGGER] Oh, you've been through so much in such a short period of time. Does the person who prescribed your medication know what you've been through and what you're feeling? You might want a different medication/dosage, to just see that person more frequently or go to a therapist who does talk therapy.

    I know for me persistent (obsessive) thoughts is one of the most symptoms of depression. I'd say they are often the cause of major episodes and they aggravate my tendency to insomnia.

    I know it seems simple but what has worked for me is to talk to someone, not just about what I'm thinking but that I can't stop mulling it over. I don't know why, but actually saying "I can't stop thinking about X" to another person just helps. Like the thoughts lose their power if you speak about them?

    And what ever you do, please keep checking in to let us know how you're doing.
    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
    [TRIGGER] Hi Zaketaz and Welcome -

    Glad you found us to talk about this. I am so sorry to hear you and so many around you have struggled.

    Comparing and thinking about those around you that have lost their battle and you looking for help, it seems like you are the strong one, stronger than they were.

    Jeune1 has great suggestions for coping. What she said about talking is repeated in this resource . It states, "In the effort to cope with suicidal thoughts, silence is the enemy."

    We congratulate you for taking the first step. Keep talking - to your doctor, therapist, family and friends. These crisis resources may be helpful to keep handy when you are having trouble coping.

    You have found a great, safe place to continue to share your thoughts and let us know how you are doing.

    Take good care of yourself,
    zaketaz replied to Jeune1's response:
    Thank you. It does seem simple to talk to someone, and I do find that helpful. I am going to see the PMHNP and my therapist at the same time next week to talk about Med changes. My therapist suggested me to find an online support, which I have looked for. And also to take advantage of another web site, and that has helped me to keep track of my mood and write down my thoughts.

    My problem is that I "think" like you said "obsess" over thoughts of what has happened. I try to limit these by writing them down or talking to someone if I can.

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