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Making friends
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Anon_152804 posted:
seem to have an issue bonding with people. my fairy tale friend would be a person i could call everyday to say hello, to vent or just to gossip. we would go out on shopping trips, have ladies nights in, share secrets and frustrations. I don't have anyone like that. no one that knows of my illness and can help me with my healing process. everyone should have a best friend or a sibling that they can relate to. It seems like no one likes me. it could be a group of people with me included and someone would come talk to someone else in the group. I'm the kid that was never picked for a team, and was in the center of dodgeball. these feelings have transferred into my adult life..I have realized that i'm not a social person, i can't walk up to someone and strike up a conversation, I'm ok with that, but why don't people like me. i do the right thing I'm a kind and caring person. i don't do drugs, smoke or drink alcohol, I'm organized and i don't like big fusses or confusion. i go to movies, broadway shows and shopping alone. i sit in coffee shops alone. my whole life is becoming like a the center of a circle. these discussions are good because at least i can say what's on my mind, the support groups are good because i get my 8 minutes to talk and have people listen to me. but i want more, whats wrong with me.
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lissmeanstrouble responded:
Most people dont know how to handle socially awkward individulas. Socially humans take body language signals and wont even approach you if your body language says you dont want to be bothered.
You might be okay with yourself, but if you want to appear more approachable, your body language needs to reflect that.
You need to find a friend who shares the same interests as you, for example you say you like broadway, coffee shops, and dislike drinking and smoking. It would maybe be a good idea for you to exchange a smile with a friendly looking individual at a coffee shop, make small talk with them about what kind of coffees they like, how they take their coffee how they feel with out it, and you can move on to other interests, maybe you have seen them a few times, and next time you come to the coffee shop you can plan to meet with them, then you can move onto making plans outside of the coffee shop, invite them to see a broadway musical with you etc....
You dont have to tell them about your emotional issues right from the start, and to be honest, dont make that the center of your conversation, you will want to make yourself sound interesting to attract friends.
 
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dwashvp replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
Thank you for your response. people have told me that i always look serious. but its hard. your advice seems doable, but i always feel like people are staring at me that why i tense up when i get around other people. i think the side conversations are about me. how do i stop this
 
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Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to dwashvp's response:
Hi dwashvp -

Just wanted to throw out another thought - Have you ever considered volunteering?

Something that interests you and introduces you to others who enjoy the same things - like ushering at small local theater or a Habit for Humanity type of organization.

Elizabeth


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