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    Why am I waiting? TRIGGER
    soulkeepers posted:
    [TRIGGER] Why am I waiting?

    What am I waiting for?

    Seems to be questions that the mind is stuck on like a scratch record.I'm not the one that big on crying but I'm not anymore,I think it's time for someone else to cry for awhile.

    The devil knows just to show up he never fails with the same old face.So many to pass me as to say I am not there when I need someone.Will this whole world fail me?

    I was stupid to believe that what I was thinking would work!!!!!!!!
    itmatsb responded:
    [TRIGGER] All that I can think to suggest to your rather cryptic posting is to suggest that you try to show as much love as you can to as many people as you can. Then love will surely come back for you. Then you will know that the world does have some good in it. I do feel for you.
    soulkeepers replied to itmatsb's response:
    [TRIGGER] itmatsb,

    Thanks for reading and offering your words.It wasn't meant to be cryptic to anyone but it ended up being.I started with wanting to post my emotions but without coming out and saying what I really meant cause they were not good choices of words that I had in mind.Had a emotional flashback and got stopped in my tracks.And I stop writing from that point.

    But love it's hard to determine what that word really mean after all.I keep people at arms reach and don't let anyone get close so that makes it difficult to give or receive anything from people.It's easy sometimes to get on here and speak my true feelings and emotions.It's all about exchanging words nothing physically at all and that's what makes this place easier to come too.I speak others listen,support and advise from their own point of view.

    And most times that's enough for me and other times not. Just under a lot of stress and dealing with a lot,almost too much to handle.

    THANKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to soulkeepers's response:
    [TRIGGER] Soulkeepers -

    Your words about coming here are so true. For some this is the only place to come and share feelings.

    Hoping the stresser's stay away for you today,
    soulkeepers replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
    [TRIGGER] Elizabeth,

    This place is an emotional home for a lot that don't have any other outlet.The people find it easy to understand cause so many is going/gone through the same thing/s.So many have the same story and knows the struggles of everyday life when dealing with depression.


    That stresser have been there for the past fourteen years.So there's nothing knew with that and I don't speak of it that much.I have gotten some grip about it's in the past so leave it there or just stay away from your suppose to be mom and maybe one day you'll find J.Everything that is buried don't stay buried and that's what I so confuse about.Behind the panic,emotions and agitation is rage.I get irritated when things come up and all I can hear in the back ground (LEAVE IT THE PAST).

    The emotions I have don't correspond with the feelings that I feel.So instead of talking about it,I don't I just get high.Smoking bags up everything and put them to rest for awhile.I don't feel anything with the feelings or emotions that come to the surface.It numbs all of me from so I won't whine about my garbage of a life.

    • Anger
    • Flashbacks
    • Rapes
    • Health issues
    • My disturbing dark side
    • Visions
    • Nightmares
    • Don't have to feel like a caged animal.

    Is this the right about doing things no but it's my way.No I'm not suicide nor do I feel like hurting myself or anyone else.It's just how I've been dealing with things the past couple of days.
    itmatsb replied to soulkeepers's response:
    [TRIGGER] It sounds like you have a lot going on in your thoughts and emotions. Ever tried therapy? I certainly wish you the best.
    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff replied to soulkeepers's response:
    [TRIGGER] [TRIGGER> Hi Soulkeepers -

    I see your most recent post - can't tell you how sorry I am that your expressions and thoughts were misunderstood by your therapist.

    I posted this discussion about putting together a coping plan. Not sure if it will help, but hoping you can find good therapy and put together something. You will have to tell us know if you think writing and journaling can help you get any clarity or purge thoughts so you can move forward.

    We hear you and we care!
    LB92392 replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Boy sounds like you will really need to work through those deep issues. A therapist or psychologist or even a very good friend might be useful to you during this trying time in your life. Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better.
    soulkeepers replied to LB92392's response:

    Thanks for your reply and advice.

    I tried to get one on one verbal feedback from Dr.F but got ambushed.Now my trust is out the window on that suggestion and it's a waste of money.

    Don't have a friend/s either sorry.

    Again thanks

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