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    I feel so lost...
    Saudade_iaH posted:
    I apologize in advance if this is a bit long... I have a wonderful boyfriend and 4 children. I am blessed to be home with my kids, I recently moved from a small apt in a bad neighborhood to a lovely rental house in a quiet, beautiful neighborhood. My boyfriend and I had some hardships to over come involving drug abuse - we are now in a place where there is trust and honesty again. Our difficulties with communicating are being worked on mutually and we are making steady progress. Everything is going so wonderful - we are all, as a family, in probably the best place in our lives that we have been in many years, possibly ever... so why do I feel this nearly constant under current of sadness and loneliness?? The only emotionally difficulty currently is that my bf does not show as much physical affection as I would like, and I don't feel passionately desired by him. It's something we talk about and try to find ways to sort of "meet in the middle". I spend my days productively, I get outdoors, I get some exercise, I find many, many fun, happy, grateful moments in each and every day. I don't feel consumed or overwhelmed with sadness.. it's more of this dull, aching, creeping lonely feeling underneath almost every minute of the day and some nights I find myself crying and wishing I could curl up as close as possible to my bf and just never wake up. I don't want to commit suicide, but I do sometimes want to die. I don't understand why I am feeling this way and I want to get better, I don't even know where to start. I have not yet talked to my doc, but I do plan to do so. I am not diagnosed with depression, I am more or less assuming that is the culprit behind these feelings. I do have a sleep disorder (Narcolepsy), though I have that as under control as possible. I do plan to get my thyroid, vitamin D and Iron levels checked out - my main question is: where do I begin in treating/overcoming this? What should I be tested for, or ask the doctor to look at? I prefer not to take pharmaceuticals unless absolutely necessary - preferably I would like to get to the bottom of this (what I affectionately call "the root of my crazy" ) and treat whatever the cause of this may be, I want to make sure I am not just treating symptoms. Thank you to anyone that may be of help or support.
    Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Saudade_iaH -

    Wanted to stop in to welcome you while waiting for others to reply, glad you found us!

    Good to hear you are going to talk with your doctor, that is the first step. Others can share their experience of meds vs therapy and a combo of both to overcome feeling of depression and sadness. I like your description and sense of humor.

    Sounds like you are on the right track - getting tests, talking with your doctor and talking about your feelings here. You may also want to talk with your doc about couples counseling.

    Saudade_iaH replied to Elizabeth_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thank you very much, Elizabeth.
    Thomas L Schwartz, MD responded:
    Hi- I am sorry you feel this way. It sounds like you have depression. Per your question- make sure you are sober, make sure you are not adding stress to your life, see your general doctor and describe exactly what you said here. He/she can check your thyroid, cell count, folate , B12 and some other items. If there is no medical problem ask for weekly psychotherapy or antidepressant or both

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