Am beginning to think my husband is depressed
An_248231 posted:
After reading some of the posts on here I am thinking my husband is suffering from mild depression. I say mild because he never lays on the couch or lost his job or treats me bad in front of people. He travels quite a bit for work and have to say it is quite nice when he is gone. Sometimes it is like walking on eggshells. I can ask a simple question and he answers so sarcastically it takes me back. My son has even asked why is dad always crabby. He is paranoid. On numerous occasions has accused me of having an affair, I work, take care of the house and raised our 2 children. They are now 20 and 15. I would repeatedly tell him that it hurts me that he doesn't trust me and that he thinks I would stoop that low. He makes rude comments on the shows I watch or if I am on facebook it makes me self conscious so I tape shows or get on facebook when he is not around. I feel like I have to sneek which is uncomfortable.
He has neck and back pain which I think now is from depression. He has no interest in sex at all. His mom was on depression medication. I thought is was because she had MS. Is depression hereditary? I also was thinking that it seems we don't do anything with friends anymore. We used to go to dinner, play cards, etc. Now I can't recall the last time anyone called to invite us out. We have had problems in the past and I would suggest counselling his response was I am not going there to get bashed. I have never told him of my suspicion of depression so how do I get him help to see if that is what it is?
Jeune1 responded:
Sorry you're going through this. First thing I want to say is people can and do go to work and appear to be normal to the outside world, even when they are severely depressed. (Trust me, I'm really good at "faking it" and I'm not the only one here who can and does.) He could be depressed, he could be paranoid or have a metabolic problem that is affecting his mood who knows.

However, his behavior is abusive and no matter what the cause, letting it go on won't do you, him or your kids any good. Bottom line, you can't drag him to a doctor or therapist and no decent clinician will diagnose him without seeing him. (And even if one did say he is depressed, it won't change his behavior.)

But you might consider seeing a counselor yourself to get ideas for how to handle this. Take the kids too, they need to talk about this.