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    onlysis posted:
    So much confusion...i'm tired of feeling utterly worthless. Reminders everyday all around me....struggling to find any good in me. Yes I've been here before...yes on meds.....yes to seeing don't blow me anything about getting help last therapist gave up on me so how do you even begin to move forward.....and I have been to many. So tired anymore I find it harder each day to not hide from the world. What's the point in going out or talking when they really don't hear what we are trying to explain they all judge.....everyone judges......i'm tired
    chez1 responded:
    HI Onlysis
    I am hearing alot of pain in you, and at the risk of offending, I am glad you are still seeing the dr and and on meds - are they reviewed regularly and have you tried different meds? Ok enough about the ways of getting help!
    I hope you wont feel judged here and hope that you feel you can write express anything that you are feeling. It is not always possible for us to understand how others are feeling but we try and we try to share our own experiences to help with all of our journeys through this confusing life that we live.
    I understand how hard it is to get up and go every day, I battle each and every morning with myself, I could easily stay home and commune myself in my bed, but I know deep down that it wont help me, also no one outside my family or close friends know that I am depressed so it would come as a bit of a shock if I just dropped off the face of the earth.
    From what you have written I can see you have fight in you, try and keep it up, keep posting here and let us know how you are doing and give us a chance to get to know you and help
    Take care
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily....... Zig Ziglar
    deasertrose responded:
    I here what you're saying. I feel the same way. Sorry nothing positive to say.
    deasertrose replied to deasertrose's response:
    Didn't mean to seem so cold there but I can't think anymore. I think I'm done. I just hope you are doing better.
    Take care
    onlysis replied to deasertrose's response:
    Pain doesn't even begin to explain the feeling swirling through me. To answer your question I have not went back to counseling why bother...they all have abandoned me and I have been to a lot of different ones each with there own approach to depression. Sometimes you just realize when you are no longer worth anyones trouble...that's just a fact I don't want sympathy. Deasertrose I know you aren't cold and sometimes we don't know what to say but you at least let me know you took the time to respond and reach out to me. Thank you.
    I can't say I'm doing better but after so many years I guess we just remain on auto pilot and go about our work day. I've become so numb to all the negative in my day...I just don't care about much these days. I don't come here often post so don't worry about me...I survived over 30 years now with this and no one cared then and I really don't need anyone to start now.
    The judgement....who needs it??? I'm just tired these days and the sun is going away for the season...what more reason to crawl under the covers.
    chez1 replied to onlysis's response:
    hey onlysis,
    I just want to say that you are worth worrying about, everyone has something to offer and that includes you.
    We do care here and we want you to share with us, we do not have to give you sympathy to feel empathy towards you, we have similar experiences, we know the pain and we all want to ease the pain for each other
    please take care,
    sending hugs x
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
    deasertrose replied to chez1's response:
    Just wanted to let you know my pdoc fired me. Said he didn't want to see me anymore so I know how you feel about no one caring. That just blew me away. Made we feelworthless and majorly depressed. Now I have a new pdoc but she is on maternity leave and I'm in a major funk and thinking of......well you know.
    Take care

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