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    Depressed and Alone
    beautifulbuffalo posted:
    [TRIGGER] I'm so depressed today and of all times when my husband had to leave town for the weekend.I am now on disability retirement after 21 years on the job. My husband says don't be sad as I've done my time. I suffer major depression, PTSD and anxiety. Plus I have other medical illnesses. People just don't understand and explaining doesn't help. They don't know my past of being raped/molested for many years as a child. It scarred me for life but people don't know that but I'm judged because I don't look disabled. I feel like I have to explain to people but keep my past to myself.

    This all has me very very depressed. I've just taken 4 hydrocodone hoping that I can sleep and start over tomorrow.
    Beautiful Buffallo
    lionbaby73 responded:
    I'm sending you a virtual ((hug)) and I'd like to tell you that you are not alone. I too had a rough childhood and I also have multiple medical illnesses but if you see me you wouldnt be able to tell. I'm awaiting the decision for my disability claim. Im also judged by people and been told that there's nothing wrong with me, that I'm just plain lazy...if they only knew how much pain I endure on a daily basis they wouldnt talk so much crap. Don't let the judgement of others get you down. I've learned that some people just don't inform themselves enough to understand what others go through so don't let their ignorance get you down. You shouldn't have to justify anything. only YOU know how and what you are feeling. Just remember that you are not alone. Take care and I hope tomorrow is a better day
    PS. If you are not sleeping well you might want to bring it up to your Psych next time you see him/her...I too have trouble sleeping, we are working on fixing it.
    beautifulbuffalo replied to lionbaby73's response:
    I had an okay day today. I was alone all day and got to see my grandson who was born yesterday. That's enough to brighten your day until I left and it all went back to normal. Feeling down and lonely. I have no friends and don't know how to find some. I don't work, and I have no hobbies that I can meet people.

    I just feel so so alone.
    Beautiful Buffallo
    chez1 replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    hey beautiful buffalo, congratulations on the birth of your grandson, that is awesome.
    I am so sorry you are having such a hard time of it just now, I wish I could come through the screen and give you a massive hug and show you that people care.
    Is there anything that you have wanted to do that you have not done before, is that a route to meet new friends?

    Sending you this thought and hugs
    People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
    lionbaby73 replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    Congratulations! Have you tried crafts as a hobby? I picked up plastic canvas as a hobby about 8 years ago when I was dx'd with FM and other illnesses. It's easy and could be fun at times. Christmas is around the corner so I make little cartoon character ornaments out of them and give them to any little kids I know to hang on their trees. It doesn't always pick me up on those really dark days but it gives me something to do since I don't have many friends and don't work neither. Maybe you can make a door sign with the baby's name for the baby's room! just an idea
    Hope tomorrow is a better day! Check out it might be something you'd like!

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