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is it me or him
chantel521 posted:
So im going through depression and i been asking my husband to be there for me a little because i been going through it alone, he tells me he will but when he hears me crying he says now what. He says its hard for him to be there since he works all day, he left to work for two weeks in a different state n came back last week and has been working all day since then but in a week he will be leaving again for two weeks in one state and another two weeks in another i asked him to not leave next week because at this point i really need him and he tells me he needs to work. So he still has never been there for me while i been dealing with depression. Do you think its wrong i want him to stay? Do you think im over reacting? I mean he has been hurting my feelings with the whole thing i dont know what to do.
chantel521 responded:
someone please help
deasertrose replied to chantel521's response:
I'm sorry iI don't know what to tell ya cause my husband traveled all the time. Now he is here more then not and he doesn't support me.
Take care.
Jeune1 responded:
Hi, it can be hard when you're dealing with an illness and you don't get support from the person who is closest to you. But the fact is, some people are just rotten at dealing with people who don't feel well. I don't get it myself, but that's how some people are.

This is just me, but I think they can even make things worse by saying they want to help or will help and then not helping or worse, being grouchy. And then there is the fact that people in general don't understand depression and can have some incorrect notions about it. He may be getting "sad" and "depressed confused. I know I had to have a long discussion about what depression was and how it felt when I told my husband I was depressed.

I know it doesn't change the fact that you're depressed but I guess I'm trying to say you may not be able to rely on him to help. You may have to turn to some other person for your chief source of support. Maybe he could go to some counseling sessions with you so he understands how you're feeling? You might be able to come up with some things that he can do to to help you out.

And of course, please keep checking back here.
Haylen_WebMD_Staff responded:
Hi chantel,

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time! Have you checked in with your doctor? Do you have a therapist?

I understand that you'd like support from your husband but, as discussed here often, sometimes our family and friends just don't give what we need.

I encourage you to keep posting here, reach out to your offline support system (doctor or therapist) and build a network you can contact when your husband is traveling.

Please keep coming here!


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