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Sadness....just left my depressed husband
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Love2live posted:
My husband was such a cool guy but he has been dealing with depression for about 10 years now. He will take his medication but not make any other effort. And he self medicates with alcohol to an extent that is scary. I have threatened to leave a few time and once did leave and made up a contract that he would not drink, and would seek help. Now he's also smoking and chewing to help himself feel better. While I feel great sympathy, I can't have him role modeling that behavior to my kids. Plus...he does have a great job and is functional but then he just zones out at the tv all night. The running "joke" with my friends is that I'm a single mom. My kids take pictures of my husband either sleeping or on the phone everywhere we go. (When we can get him out). I was contemplating leaving...but I was staying to have stability for the kids. But then my 12 yo son said that "he was not being a father or a good role model and that a strong mother would get us out". Wow. So I did...but I'm sad. I love my husband and hope he wakes up and gets help!
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Jeune1 responded:
That must have been very hard but I think you did the right thing. Sometimes it takes an extreme jolt to make people realize that what they're doing just isn't working AND it has a negative impact on others. Sure it would be great if you could be there to watch him get better, but sometimes being there keeps a person from realizing they need to do more work.
 
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Love2live replied to Jeune1's response:
Thanks for your response! It's so hard, and he's angry at me but I've tried begging and asking nicely and asking not so nicely and making threats and nothing but nothing has caught his attention. So here's hoping this works or else I really will be a single mom.
 
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Jeune1 replied to Love2live's response:
I hope it works out well for you all too. I've dated a number of people with addiction issues but it wasn't until I dated someone who was in recovery and told me to go to Al-Anon meetings that I realized I was the WORST mate for an active addict because it is very, very hard for me to set boundaries and follow through on them. They were never going to get anywhere with me being a marshmallow the whole time. And frankly, that sort of relationship didn't do much for me either, mental health wise.


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