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No longer alone
karak posted:
I thought I was the only one on the planet who lived with a depressed spouse and felt alone....I have been married for 18 yrs and almost 16 of those years have been spend trying to deal with his depression...I feel lonely...what i wouldnt give for him to just spend time and just talk to me, hold me, touch me...anything...I too spend the years walking on eggshells..scared he might get upset..not telling him things or sharing things because he would be mad or it would upset him..I have done without ,,,gone without love and attention for long periods of time..put up with verbal abuse and him treating me badly off an on...and he has hardly anything to do with the kids..I feel like a single parent and i just done know If i can do this anymore...I have stayed because he is sick and u just done leave someone when they are sick...but I just done know if I can do this anymore....I
Haylen_WebMD_Staff responded:
I'm so glad you've been able to connect with others here who face life with a depressed loved one.

Click the links below for two articles that might give you more ideas and support to take care of yourself and support your husband:
When a Loved One Has Depression - Caregiver Tips
Helping a Depressed Loved One

Sending you big (((hugs))) today - please keep checking in!

Jeune1 responded:
Hi there. I too am glad you've found other people in the same boat. If my depression made life difficult for my husband I'd want him to find other people in the same situation.

I'll also say that if I made my husband feel he had to walk on eggshells, was verbally abusive to him and generally treated him poorly on an ongoing basis, I wouldn't have the right to complain if he said Goodbye.

Yes, your husband is sick, but that is not an excuse to treat other people poorly. If he is just treating you this way and is reasonable with people outside of the family, that's a sign he can control it and being ill has nothing to do with it.

Either way, being depressed (or having any other illness) is not an excuse for being mean. And sometimes we need someone close to us to tell us we're not behaving acceptably to goad us to think. Maybe to think about seeking more or other kinds of treatment or maybe just realize that we'd be a heck of a lot more unhappy if someone we drove away someone we love.
karak replied to Haylen_WebMD_Staff's response:
I cannot begin to tell you how much it meant for me to see your post..Just to have someone encourage me and read my thoughts meant more to me than I can express... i live in a house with 4 people and feel so lonely most of the time...Please accept my heartfelt thank you...I promise to check in as often as I can..
karak replied to Jeune1's response:
Thank you Jeune1..your post meant a lot and it was nice to have some words of encouragment....It was kind and meant a lot to me...God bless u and I pray you are blessed

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