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deasertrose posted:
TRIGGER<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<I am so tired. All the grief and stress in my life is to overwhelming. I'm shaking so bad I can't write or eat and so on..... I ran out of my levothryoxine 2 weeks ago and I never called the dr. I see her tomorrow. She'll probably be upset about it but I don't care any more. I take 10 meds. and I don't want to take them anymore. Maybe I'll get better if I stop them. Better yet I would rather take them all and go to sleep forever! That would be the best thing.
deasertrose responded:
Well today was an eventful day. Went to my fam.Dr. then my therapist, then I was meeting my daughter for lunch before I went to another appt. I was in an accident so I never made it to that other appt. I'm ok except for the back of my head to my butt. My car on the other hand. I just totally feel out of it. I'm really dizzy and my head hurts. Don't want to go to bed cause I won't be able to move. They gave me a new drug to take for the pain but it says don't take with 3 of the pills I'm on and if you are having suicidal thoughts. Never mind that shouldn't be a worry.
Take care
HELPMEPLZ responded:
Rose, I came here today for 1st time, in hopes of finding answers, or well I dont really even know why Im here, there are no answers for my depression, nothing has ever worked for mine! I wrote a whole piece about how I am feeling, and just my luck it disappeared somewhere without actually landing on the posting location-go figure! Just as I was about to shut the whole desperate pathetic attempt to find results proceedure and about to just throw computer and life away I stumbled across your post, and felt before I thow in the towel I needed to respond to your post to tell you notttt to give up- YES INSANE I KNOW!!! And for the 1st time in a long time I actually found some humor in my pathetic existing!!! Me of all people to say "dont give up" - but something made me write this to you !!!! I struggle deeply with severe depression, and I dont have any friends in my life, no form of communication in person with anyone other then my husband and 2 adult children, my life is just a wasted existance-period!!!! I wont even begin to say all my problems-troubles and heart ache I've had in life. Instead I just want to tell you I am here if you'd like to talk . Sincerely HELPMEPLZ!
lissmeanstrouble replied to HELPMEPLZ's response:
I work at an endocrinology office, going off your levothyroxine is probably making you depressed, I know you dont like taking ten meds but your thyroid is a vital hormone.

I am feeling tired myself... I once took thyroid replacement to lose weight and realized I was messing with my health in a very hazardous way, so I know how it feels to have a low thyroid, dragging... horrible! Im sure your doc will fix you up just as quick as she can rose dont give up k!

Help me plz- your post actually did show up on the board, I saw it before I clicked here.
deasertrose replied to HELPMEPLZ's response:
Helpmeplz, why should I not give up? I am dead already. I have no desires. All the things that I use to like to do are gone. No sewing, cooking, gardening, reading, cross word puzzles and being with people. My memory is gone, yesterday is no longer there. Most of my kids childhood is gone shoot my childhood is gone. I had ECT so 2003 to2005 are gone. I'm stupid. I can't figure out the simplest things at work or anywhere else. Why would I want to keep living. I sleep all the time or not. Everyone around me are smarter then me. I just feel worthless, no good, ugly and all that good stuff or you could say bad stuff. I feel hollow. I'm really depressed right now. I think I'm gonna go hide somewhere so noone wakes me up in the morning.
deasertrose replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
I've been so tired long before I stopped my levothyroxine. As soon as I get my meds in the mail I'll be taken them again.
Thanks for caring.
havetolearntoaccept replied to HELPMEPLZ's response:
Obviously you are severely depressed but I want to point out that people like us may dwell on past troubles, problems and heart ache but try too understand that they did not cause your depression. Depression is a disease, a medical condition, and has its root in biology. I have been on every med there is and for many years, prior to 50 back to 20, they really helped. Now I am "treatment resistant" and it is absolute torture at times. My old "me" is gone but I know it is not me or anything I have done wrong. I still pray for something to help my "biological" disease. I have done my homework over the years and have the best doctors. We have been working on "acceptance" and how to have some type of existance even though I am really sruggling now. Just remember - you didn't do this to yourself. Please don't punish yourself.

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