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    The eternal battle?
    ryry2143 posted:
    I don't know about any of you.. but I feel like this will never go away. I feel like I am stuck in this perpetual hole, for lack of a better word. Even when I have everything I could ask for.. great friends, a great boyfriend, parents that try to understand me... even though my mom has trouble. I've tried the one-on-one therapy and the medication. My boyfriend suggested group therapy, and I read about it in my psychology textbook.. so I am really hoping this helps because I cannot find any group-therapies in my area for depression.

    I just feel over-the-top overwhelmed right now. School work is pilling on, and work is only getting busier. My boyfriend and I can't seem to stop bickering after our last fight... My best friend is beginning to ditch me for someone else. My boyfriend keeps telling me that lately I haven't been "me". I try to be more like "me" but it's never right. I don't know what me he is asking for... He and I have been dating for about 8 months, a little less. This is the first large depression wave that I haven't been able to fight off since I've been with him, and he doesn't understand. I've tried to explain and he doesn't understand. Does anyone have any tips for how to get him to understand?

    No matter how long and hard I try to fight it keeps on coming.. I am sick of it.. it is exhausting.
    Femfatal responded:
    I've read some of your post, you've got a good head on your shoulders. How long has this been going on and have you seen a doctor to rule out physical possibilities for your depression?
    I've been down this road most my life, but depression is different for everyone. You have to take into account what triggered it, does it run it the family, what are your symptoms and these are things that while some on this board may be able to help you sort through, it's my opinion, a doctor should be your first stop. Hormones and some minor medical conditions will cause symptoms of depression. A simple thyroid or birth control pill could lighten your day, if those hormones are unbalanced.
    But if it is a depression or mood disorder, there's help there also. The happiest day of my life was when I looked my son in the eye and told him, "I use to roll my eyes at those commericals that claimed depression could be controled, but it's true, there is life after depression."
    You just got to what it bad enough to fight for it. Be honest with your doctors about what's happening, what works & what doesn't. As for close family & trusted friends there are pamphlets at most drug stores, clinics or counselors (including school) offices that you can pick up to help them understand.
    You didn't say how old you where, but take it from an old lady, if you're still in school don't worry about the boyfriend, there will be another, and I know he's important to you, but right now you come first, not him. Work on feeling better and if he's really worth it, he'll stick around or come back around when you know who you are and are confident enough to be who you are and not who he wants you to be. That's the only type of relationship that really last in the long run.
    Be Well
    Femfatal replied to Femfatal's response:
    My son suffers from depression as does she. He and his now wife dated 7 years before they married. They have learned about depression together and have supported each other through their ups and downs. Their both college grads, he works full time and she's a full time mom expecting their third child in April; (1 boy, 1 girl, 1? They own a home, 2 cars, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 guinea pigs and run a non-for profit charity providing free birthday cakes for underprivileged children and seniors.
    Their lifes are proof you can live a full and productive life even with depression, just got to keep your priorities straight.
    itmatsb responded:
    Femfatal gave you some excellent advice. You say that you are taking medication as well as therapy. It doesn't sound like the medication is helping or are battles with the boyfriend bringing you down too much? The therapy doesn't seem to have helped you at all since you still with a boyfriend that have a fighting relationship with. Think of yourself first. Good luck.
    Femfatal replied to itmatsb's response:
    Children of abuse can be attracted to abusers without realizing why. From there it gets deep, but I've come to understand why I've picked the men I have in my life & it's why I've decided not to remarry. I've been married twice & was a caregiver to my last "boyfriend" (he's 61, more of an ass than a for the last 12 years I knew him, all abusers in one way or another.
    He hasn't been 'in" my life for over 13 months. However, his daily calls & texting where driving me crazy. I've since handled that situation by telling him, (short version), never to contact me again then putting his numbers on "ignore". I've been pretty calm since then, My psych literally smiled from ear to ear and did a little dance when I told him what I'd done as he'd been trying to get me to end the situation for several years. His words where, "You've put your house in order, that's why you feel better." I'm sure the medication change had something to do with being able to find my backbone after all thes years though.
    This is a difficult time of the year for me anyway as seasonal depression piles up on top of treatment resistant depression, but the addition of light thearapy seems to be helping also.
    I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with grandchildren & daughter-in-law's family out in the country. I feel truely blessed & a little selfish. This is the first time I have thought of myself first!
    Be Well

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