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Sad and tired
sadandtired posted:
I am relieved to know I am not the only one! My husband and I have been married for 10 years, last year he went though depression for several months, I finally sent him to my sisters in Florida, the change of scenery seemed to help and he came home and went back to work, then this year in February his mother fell and came to live with us for a few months to recover, he was feeling down before this, now he hasn't worked for 9 months, we've had to file bankruptcy and my adult son that lives with us is not feeling well and has not worked for 7 months, his wife lives with us and works very part time, now I am working 2 jobs trying to keep the bills paid and he has used up all his FMLA and personal time and soon there will be no insurance, everyone say's to get help and on medication but he has seen a therapist 2-3 times a week for the whole time and is on medication, if they put him in a hospital it is only for 3 days and then they are discharged, don't see how that is going to help. He went to an IOP for a few weeks but felt very uncomfortable there. He refuses to look for a job or do anything around the house, he is such a handyman and can fix almost anything, now I am thinking I may have to sell the house that I love and needs a little work on, but he will do nothing to help get it into shape. He just lays around all day and when I am home he follows me around while I clean and moans about me cleaning, but he will not do much to help, sometimes he sweeps the floor. I love him very much and do not want to leave, but the situation is making me so sad and I am very much a happy person, I just need some hope that he will try and get better, I know going to the doctor is supposed to help, but he goes because I take him, he never does any of the things they suggest to help, because he feels no one has ever been as bad as he is. I am at the end of my rope, I pay all the bills, do all teh shopping, cleaning,working, driving, begging him to go anywhere is an hours long chore and by the time we leave he has successfully ruined what might have been a nice time. All he wants to talk about is his problems, his depression and how he doesn't do anything right, but refuses to do anything that would change the situation. Now people tell me that once you have a depression you are very likely to have another and he is not even seeing the light of day yet with this one and now I worry about the next one. I wish there was something you could do for your loved ones, but I do know that you have to continue to live your life or they will suffocate you.
itmatsb responded:
Sorry to hear about your extremely difficult situation. What does your doctor say for your husband to do that he doesn't do? Has the doctor prescribed anti-depressants for him? If he is refusing to take the medication, then you need to set limits on everything that you are doing for him until he does take the meds. And if he has been taking anti-depressants, they obviously aren't working. Demand a change in the anti-depressants and you are likely to get much better help with a psychiatrist.

The same goes for your son and his wife who only works very part time. You need to demand that they contribute more to the household monetarily and with the work. And why doesn't your son get some medical help as well?

You may be wonder lady, but there are limits. What happens if you get sick? Everything cannot rest on you. I had a stroke without any risk factors completely out of the blue at age 55 years. Anything can happen. So change the dynamics in your household or you all could land on the streets.

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