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jblue123 posted:
I'm really struggling right now and thought it might help to just write it down. I've got some legal problems right now, and my logical brain knows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I just can't help but feeling trapped and taken advantage of. I've had crazy thoughts of I would love to just beat the snot out of the person who intigated all of this, to wondering if things would be better if I just drove my car off the cliff. I can't afford to go see a counselor right now, and the local "pay what you can clinic" is not an option. I have serious concerns about their ability to maintain confidentiaitly.

I feel myself getting paranoid, and questioning everyone's motivation. I used to be such a trusting person, and because of this I think that is part of my legal problems. I've allowed myself to be taken advantage of, and I think I also have some impulse control issues. I feel lost. I really want to take tonight and tomorrow to not think about anything negative, but how do I get the thoughts out? I have a son in college who I am so proud of I could just bust, he has turned into everything I hoped he could be. I'm ashamed of myself for my thoughts and feelings and don't want to burden him with my problems. My family is somewhat estranged so I don't feel like I have them to reach out to, and my closest friend suffers from major anxity disorder and I don't want to be the cause of her having another episode.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to get the thoughts out? I need to sleep but can't do it unless I take a pill and I don't want to become dependent on it.

Thanks for letting me get it out, I'm crying as I finish writing this and it may not make alot of sense to anyone... but thanks none the less. Maybe a good cry will help...
Survivor2007 responded:
Sometimes a good cry is the best thing. There is scientific proof that crying releases endorphins that really do help with mood. When I get that trapped feeling, I try to do something that is very distracting. I have gone for a drive with the musice playing loud, gone hiking, torn apart the junk closet, gone for a long walk, done some kind of craft project.....things that demand some focus. And, writing all about what I am feeling and what I am thinking.....although it might sound like that would be wallowing in the depression....actually can be helpful. Say anything you want, don't worry about language, spelling, etc.....just say what you want to say. There is something about putting your thoughts in writing that makes you organize them, and helps to feel that you have expressed them. You can keep the writing, or you can throw it away.....I have been known to print out what I have written and take it out in the yard and burn it.....
Anyhow, just some feedback on things that have helped me at times. Hope you will be feeling better....I know that legal stuff can be very frustrating. Be kind to yourself....
jblue123 replied to Survivor2007's response:
Thanks for responding... if I can keep myself distracted I'm okay. I've battled issues before, but I just can't seem to pull myself together now. I will try writing them down... I had never thought of doing that and that might help...
trees8 replied to jblue123's response:
I'm glad you are writing down your feelings that is a great way to express your feelings. I sometimes journal and when I do it is really helpful.

I was a skeptic at first about writing my feelings down but now I know that it is a great way to express your feelings and a start to getting out of denial.
jblue123 replied to trees8's response:
I just wanted to come back on and say Thank You everyone. I'm still struggling some, but have a little better perspective. I'm hoping that the weekend will not be a step backwards. Spending too much time by myself is not a good thing... but I've got some projects at home I want to work on so I hope that will help. Thanks again, I'll be back often as the support has really helped.

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