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    Whats wrong with me?
    June_Smith1998 posted:
    I am so depressed here lately and I don't know why, I'm only 14! I don't have my "monthly terror" as my friends call it. I have had a rough year I've been homeless and in pain emotionally and physically. I don't understand I try sooo hard to be nice to others and all I get in return is pain? I don't want anything so why give me this? I am soo tired, and lonely, and confused I know I shouldn't be complaining and that there are people worse off but I need to know if someone has the answer. I'm not super religious does that have something to do with it? V_V I just don't know anymore and I need help...
    thistledown1973 responded:
    Dear one, you've mentioned some very valid reasons to feel depressed; being homeless, having physical pain and emotional pain are not small things. One of the hardest things to do in life is maintain a positive outlook and give kindness to others when what you receive is rudeness, lack of concern and others lashing out.

    I am going to be extremely basic and I apologize for the simplicity of the answer, because there are so many nuances to the answer that just won't fit in one post.

    When people are unhappy they deal with their unhappiness in two main ways; they find a way to overcome their unhappiness (therapy, family, spiritual), or they dwell in it (most often because they don't know how to overcome it, or in cases of mourning it takes time).

    If they dwell in unhappiness, they either internalize it (because they do not want to burden others or they are taught they must not show it), or they externalize it (cry, show/discuss their sadness, lash out).

    People who lash out perpetuate unhappiness by exacting pain for pain, on others or themselves with word or deed. People who internalize do damage to themselves (stress on the blood pressure, heart, neurotransmittor depletion, or substance abuse).

    No matter how much pain they are in, there is no excuse for a person to abuse others or themselves in reaction to emotional pain. I understand WHY people do, but it solves nothing and only brings more pain; pain to those who care about them and pain to themselves.

    People should also not try to cheer people up by giving examples of how someone else has it worse. YOUR pain is PERSONAL, and NO ONE has the right to judge how significant it is.

    Take a moment to do some self-checks. You are alive. Are you able to get enough to eat? Do you have a place to sleep? Are your clothes appropriate for the weather where you are? Are you able to get needed medical care for physical needs? Mental needs?

    If the answer is no to any of the above, then please ask a parent, friend, teacher, police officer SOMEONE to help you find the proper resources. I CARE AND LOVE YOU FROM HERE; there has to be someone in your immediate area that can assist. Take care of the basic needs and then reasses from there to see what else can be done to improve on those. I have been poor/on food stamps and nearly homeless (thanks to family I had somewhere to stay when I lost my home), so I have some idea how it feels to be displaced.

    Religion is not required; a person can be spiritual without religious affiliation. I am not religious but I am spiritual. I am also a mother of a 12 year old and a 9 year old, and I want to KNOW when they are in pain or depressed. Their worries and problems are NOT a burden on me; I chose to bring them into this world with the understanding that I am their rock to lean upon, their tree to shelter beneath. No matter what choices they make in life or who they become, they are loved and welcome. Reach out to someone near you and don't be afraid of adding to their load.

    Be well and know you are loved; if I lived near you I would not hesitate to assist you in turning things around, physically, mentally, emotionally.

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