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    depression episodes
    AnneWSS posted:
    I have had depression most of my life that I can remember but started being treated about 12 years ago after adopting our first child. I have an individual therapist, marriage therapist, psychiatrist, and take wellbutrin and cymbalta. My husband and I have a wonderful, close and loving relationship. But even with all this support there are times when I lose it all together. I scream and yell and sob and lose all the tools I have learned over the years. A couple of days ago I got so upset I broke my iphone glass against my head. I feel so disheartened when this happens and it scares my husband so badly. Most of the time I am good and my depression is well managed but even with all of my safety nets I can go down into the pit so far that I can't recognize myself or see anything but my own pain. I don't really need help figuring out what to do (I called my therapist during my episode, have an appointment with the couples therapist and plan to call my psychiatrist as soon as her office opens). I just wonder if others do this too. I don't know anyone who has depression like me who I can ask and I would really like to hear from someone who understands.
    ML603 responded:
    Hi AnneWSS,

    I can't say I have felt the exact pain that you have, but I can surely sympathize with how you were feeling. When I am depressed I often get that feeling of being completely overwhelmed, to the point where I just want to smash something. I hope that you are feeling better, and the important thing is that it sounds like you have a great family and support system in place.
    All the best!
    lissmeanstrouble responded:
    Hello Anne, I can definitely relate to your post. Especially where you said you scare your poor husband, and you feel like you cant see yourself or anything but pain. I can tell I am starting to fall into the same pit you describe, and lose all the "tools" as well, its like you know its happening, and youve been taught how to stop it, but it still happens, and its hard to tell if its self destructive behavior or if everythings really as bad as you think....
    Its really disheartening to think about, Im not thinking very clearly right now, and forgot where I was going with this, but I do I do I do understand...
    I dont even want to call my therapist though cause once I get to talk to her I self MINIMIZE my problems out of shame.

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