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Anon_26275 posted:
I have had OCD for most of my life but never this severe. I do not have the finances to pay for treatment in medicine/therapy. I understand that you have to take the thoughts for whats worth (nothing in reality). I just cant get thru it by myself. The worst is intrusive thoughts! I obsess over the random things its not just one thing Example: I went to a corner store, and there was an Arab that worked there fighting with a man. After that I told myself i wont go to any stores with Arab Muslims. I am NOT racist, but my OCD has made me think this way. Another example is my coworker who has a very annoying laugh once ate a hamburger from Wendys, Now, I wont eat any hamburger from wendys ill get chicken items but no beef. Its stuff like that that drives me crazy. I move from one "ocd" to the next, I have my good days where I controll it but then its like when I am clearheaded I have a terrible feeling in me that feels as if something is wrong or in the back of my head I am thinking of stuff.

The worst OCD that I have is intrusive thoughts about my family. I have thoughts about my mom, sisters. They really drive me insane, i HATE myself so much because I dont want to feel this way at all. I just wanna be normal. Also, it makes me spend money. example:if i go to a fast food place and the employee is rude or something is wrong with meal, I will go back to the place to receive the correct service. Its so ridiculous that my sister ex boyfriend took me to work one day and I dont take that way i go the long way to avoid traveling his route, I dont have a "if i dont this something bad will happen" OCD, its an intrusive thought that makes me do rituals to rid.

I guess what im asking is, can someone who has dealt with or is dealing with OCD please give me tips and ways to manage my intrusive thoughts? I am crying as I write this because I hate this. I know I have it for life I just wanna deal..... I have had suicidal thoughts but never really tried anything i dont think I know being in Heaven would be much better than this... please help me with tips that helped you.

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