Severe Depression, But No Insurance
An_249914 posted:
I have severe depression and I've had it for quite a few years. It's getting to the point where I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I no longer have health insurance, because I can't afford it and state insurance won't answer me, so I have no way to talk to my doctor. I used to do things all the time: music, painting, drawing, making jewelry...but now all I can stand to do is sleep, or sit at home alone. I've been going to the gym as part of a New Years resolution to be able to look at myself in the mirror without making my depression worse. At least once a day I think about stepping into the bath tub with a hair dryer, or how easy my life would be if I just didn't have to live it anymore. I live with my boyfriend, who's very loving, and supportive. He does everything for me and I can't stand it when he's home. I just feel like being alone all the time. I can't stand how we just sit indoors all the time. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like running away from my life, but what then? I'm somewhere else, just as unhappy.
Artchyck responded:
I find myself in a similar situation as you. looking back, I can remember depression as a kid, though I really didn't understand what it was, and even through my teens and 20's, but I didn't reach out for medication until after my last baby, where I really went down a dark place with postpartum. My children are now grown, my youngest is 14, and the last few years I have been finding it harder and harder to hold on. I was a stay at home mom until recently, and this year I have instances where I have to leave work because I am so overcome with the feeling of despair and worthlessness, I need to leave. I can't stop the crying, and I am not usually an over emotional person. My husband is very supportive, like your boyfriend, but it doesnt help. He just doesnt get it. I mean, who would choose to feel this way? I love painting, working with clay, building mixed media pieces, but I have found it impossible to do any art lately, which causes more depression. I take cymbalta, have no insurance, so I know how expensive it can be. I will say, anti depressant meds probably saved me. Maybe a dr visit will help you? I dont know what state you are in, but in Wa state, u can get some help with this.
wannatalk65 responded:
behavioral centers will set you up with help, check out your local area. I am currently going to one and they have been helping me quite a bit. They are free of charge