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Do I still need to marry him?
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An_249933 posted:
Hi there everyone, is there any one who can give me some advice?
I know that my fiancee had a depression in-spite of that I still love him and I'm willing to marry him and take care of him.
But when I ask him why he wants to marry with me? he just said because this is what God's want that's why he will marry me but deep inside him he don't like to marry, he said that he can live without me he is not excited to marry with me he just only do it because this is what the Lord's want.
I really don't know what is in his mind why he is saying this now I start questioning if my boyfriend really love me and really want to marry with me?
If he in a good mood I felt his love he is too kind and I felt he really wants to marry me but why he is saying this words to me? I can't understand..
Please help me I love him and I want to take care of him but it seems like he is pushing me away. =(
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lukeperry responded:
Hi An,

I'm so sorry that the man you love has mental problems. It's very sad for you both. Now you need ans., to a number of quest. before you embark, on a life long commitment. It's very sweet for you to say you'll take care of him, but this is for life! Do you know all the different kind of mental problems, have you been around mental illness during your lifetime?

First of all, he doesn't sound only depressed, he also sounds bi-polar, which they have meds. for. The problem is that it's very hard to find the right brand & correct dosage. It's also a very hard job to l have. Because of the highs and lows, plus sometimes they won't take it.

From what you wrote, it sounds more like he feels the need to get married, like he's in some kind of hurry. God doesn't want us to marry, just for marriage. It's suppose to be a love union between two people and him. Then he said, he doesn't even like marriage. He should be saying, "I love you, will you please marry me?"


I'm only bringing up these different kinds of mental problems because, as we all know, "LOVE IS BLIND!" It really is, we can barely see the reality of our love man, doing anything wrong. All we can see is perfection. He can do no wrong. Love is by far the strangest emotion on earth.

I don't want to say a bad thing about you two. Just remember this, do you want to take a chance with your life, being with a man who can't even say, "I love you, will you please marry me?"(very easy 8 words to say) And what if you can't handle his depression, what if he's worse then you knew? God bless and you already know the answer to your question.

Luke
 
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itmatsb responded:
Even when both parties believe that they really want to be married, there is a 50 percent failure rate. The very worst that can happen is that you have a child with this man, then find out that he is not only not really in love with you, but has the same lack of feeling for your child and working. Yes, he may not like working anymore either. He will not change with marraige and may get a lot worse. So sorry to tell you this. But you are forewarned.


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