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Severly Depressed Spouse who wont get help
An_250103 posted:
My husband of 16+ years has been suffering for severe depression for almost 7 months now. Last July he had an "emotional break" and walked off his job, causing our family of 4 to survive with no income and no health insurance. All along he has refused to take medications for the depression. From July through November he worked with a therapist and was helped somewhat by the talk therapy. In December we moved our family back to our adoptive hometown, and his mood and outlook seemed much improved. Our Christmas visit to our home state & family re-opened wounds that were just starting to heal, and since then he has back slid drastically. This month of January has been almost as bad as that first month back in July. Unfortunately, this time around he is not open to getting or admitting that he needs to work with a therapist. He claims he is doing what he needs to do by hiking and biking, but his short fuse, impatience and frustration level is very difficult for my kids (13 and 11) and myself. He is disengaged, argues and becomes frustrated when we do not comply to his ways/wishes. Thankfully his anger and animosity is mostly directed at me and not our kids, but this is putting such an enormous strain on our family and my marriage. I am starting to doubt that our marriage will survive, and truthfully wonder if I love him any longer because I certainly don't LIKE him right now. Our family needs for him to get into therapy, but I cannot make him do it. I have researched therapists in our area for him and offered to walk him through my findings, only to have him hide the list I compiled. When I ask and suggest he get back into therapy, he becomes verbally hostile and unkind and suggests that it I should seek therapy to fix myself. I do not suffer from depression, but have recently contacted a therapist to get some family therapy for the kids and I to help us understand and cope with the crisis our family is in. How do I convince my husband that by him getting back into therapy that he and our family will all benefit from it, and that we simply love him and want him healthy and an active part of our family once again? We are not judging him, blaming him or comdeming him, we just want him back. My kids want their dad back and if possible, I would like to have a husband once again.

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