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Trying to Build A Support System
GSimp posted:
I am usually known as a very outgoing person. Very lovable, very happy, life of the party....that is until recently.

For the last few months I have been battling depression alone. I always felt like I could get better if I just tried hard enough. Obviously this has not been successful. I do journal & write. I also try to use my boyfriend as part of an outlet as well.

I am currently trying to build up various outlets for support in addition to therapy or calling a crisis hotline. I want people who can give honest opions or views even if it's just asking questions to help probe me to get to the right answer. Unfortunately I don't get this on the hotlines.

My depression has also been accompanied by drinking almost everyday. I've become very angry and hard to be around. Drinking basically relaxes me but if something says or does something that I don't like, I explode. I don't like this person that I have become. I just want to be happy again.
chez1 responded:
Hi G Simp
Welcome to this forum, I hope you find the honesty and openness that you are looking for. Everyone on this site knows and understands depression well and are very good at sharing and giving advice.
I have not been on line for quite a while now as I have not been feeling too great and have found it difficult to respond to others.
As I read your post I realised I could have written it myself, in fact I probably have written pretty much this in the past. I too am known to the life and sole of the party, the caring and loving friend etc and at times have turned to drink to get through it all.
I have to say, I kept on going for a very long time avoiding my true feelings, not really taking much time to process where my sadness came from, actually it took a long time to even consider that I could be sad.
My advice to you, is continue to build up a support network, don't beat yourself up for admitting to having problems coping and take all the help that is offered to you.
Even though I don't know, you I am going to hazard a guess and even go as far as to say I know that your family and friend love you and absolutely will want to help you and won't judge you.
When we are depressed we become great self critics and spend a lot of time fighting our demons, this is a difficult cycle to break but I believe it is possible.
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
GSimp replied to chez1's response:
Thank you so much for your response and sharing your story with me. I'm glad that you mentioned family and friends. I tried to give an overview of what's going on without being specific as to what is causing my depression or ocassional suicidal thoughts. I actually don't want to share that with people other than Dr's, psychologists, etc and my family actually became upset with me. My Mom said that she is angry with me that I can't share with her but wasn't really understanding to the fact that I'm seeking professional treatment and just don't feel comfortable in speaking with my family about my deepest, darkest secrets. Any suggestions?
chez1 replied to GSimp's response:
Hi G Simp
I suggest that you share with your family that you have hit a bit of a low spot and that you are doing what you can to build yourself up again. Ask them to be supportive in this time without sharing any of the real dark stuff that is going on inside you. If it helps them, tell that your time with the therapist (whoever they are) is time limited and that you are hoping that they will give you guidance to move forward.
Then I suggest you share as much or as little as you can with the therapist people. If you struggle to say it out loud, write down what you are thinking and feeling and share it with them - I know it is difficult but believe me they have heard it, read it and some probably lived it before - I again can say this with confidence as I have read it here, lived it in my life and seen it in others that I work with. I have to say, we have not all had the same personal experiences that lead us to believe whatever of ourselves but we all have the same illness that reinforces how we feel.
I realise as I write this that it may seem a little deceitful not to share fully with your family and friends, but I have found that they cope with so much but not it all and by sharing some (which they know wont be it all but probably think it is the most) they feel included and feel they can help.
I am not sure I am making sense as I am writing as I think but I hope I have helped in some way.
One last bit of advice, try and avoid getting drunk with them as you will be left vulnerable and end up sharing more than you would like to - yes this has happened to me but thankfully my in-laws have been respectful enough not to bring it up again. My direct family would!!
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar

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