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What is a Trigger and When to Trigger a Post
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Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, call 911 or get to the ER.

Trigger -bottoming out.
Demons2011 posted:
The most difficult season.
chez1 responded:
Hey Demons
Quite a bleak picture there. The snow has gone and I assume the bright sunshine with it. Is this representing your mood, yesterday, today and well hopefully not tomorrow!!
I have missed you, I have been struggling and not been able to post for a while. I have been seeing a therapist for quite a while now and until the past couple of weeks she has taken it easy on me. She promised in the new year we would get down to some "nitty gritty" stuff and by god did she mean it.
I am hanging onto the hope that if I (and I am going to include you and some others in this) have survived the past year, maybe a little worse for wear but yet still here, we can survive anything.
How is the family D and how is work?
Sending you some well and truly overdue hugs from a snowy and cold Scotland x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
Demons2011 replied to chez1's response:
It's been like the photo for about three days, supposed to change no later than Wednesday; of course the temp is supposed to bottom out as well, something like -25 C with blustery winds 20 Km plus. The visibility has been about 1/2 a Km. This kind of conditions has always been when my depression is at it's most merciless.

Glad you getting to the base issues. Thanks for the hugs, you know how much they help.
chez1 replied to Demons2011's response:
so can you tell me about it?
you know you are always there to lend a listening ear, I am offering mine just now x
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
Demons2011 replied to chez1's response:
Thanks Chez1 - looking at the screen - nothing left to say. Don't feel like I belong anywhere. Scaring myself. Considering a hotline.
chez1 replied to Demons2011's response:
Ok so I will share my past couple of weeks. God only knows where the low came from but oh me did it hit!!!
So I phoned the local hotline - Samaritans and after hanging up three times eventually spoke to this lovely guy. When I say lovely, I found him quite funny because at one point when I said I have had enough and it was time just to -----------, he said "well that is your choice", I don't think he expected me to say "yes it is, thank you for your time". I heard him nearly choke which made me feel guilty, so maybe that is his tactic. At that point it worked for me. But a short time later I was feeling at crisis point again so I phoned the health crisis number. They were also good but I had to be mindful of the fact they have statutory rights and could force me into hospital. I shouldn't have worried as they were simply kind,
Well because of the kindness I thought I would give then a call this past weekend when I was sadly again at a low point, well this time I spoke to the most arrogant bleeping bleep person I have had the misfortune to speak to in a long time. He judged me, shouted at me. Told me how I have tried to commit suicide several times and how I use self harm to get attention. And on top of that he had the audacity to overturn my decision not to discuss the consultation with my local dr - oh me I was fizzing mad.
Demons the moral of my story is, the crisis lines are there for a purpose and they serve us all well. Even though my last contact didn't go as I expected or wanted, it did give me the distraction that I needed to get through that tough time until I could get more support later in the day.
I am sorry you are feeling so low, I am sorry you are scaring yourself, please please hold onto what you have achieved and for all of those and us around you and I promise to try and do the same
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
Demons2011 replied to Demons2011's response:
Chez1, thunderstorm playing havoc with wireless connection. Yes, we get them at this time year as well. Usually comes with lot's of snow. Not this time temps are still high, but allowing the fog to play hell on our souls. Too many shadow men looking back tonight.
chez1 replied to Demons2011's response:
Demons, I have to try and sleep now as I am up for work in a couple of hours.
Please call a crisis line. I want to remind you of some of the first posts you made here where you were thankful for coming through what had been a bl**dy rough time. You had managed to rebuild relationships with your children and were able to appreciate the life that you had at that time.
Demons, I really do understand about the shadow men, I would even go as far as to say I welcome them into my life, however I know I have to fight to keep them away and you do too.
Here I am holding up a shield and sharing it will you to keep us both safe. Sorry for some reason cant get pic to come up so copied the page.
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily...........Zig Ziglar
Demons2011 replied to chez1's response:
Ah lass, thanks for the shield. It was much needed. I got through the night. Sorry if I caused you any concern. It was just about impossible to stay on this hotel wi-fi last night. Lighting was causing too many conflicts / interruptions. I've been working out of town for the last seven weeks. Guess that was part of what was getting to me, that and the last four days of gloom. I have only been at home for the weekends Also, I'm guessing I am missing my therapy dog. Wylie, may not be trained as a therapy dog, but he is mine. Not to mention, everyone being sick and not getting together since Christmas.
I have noticed an increase in alcohol consumption, not a lot but more than most months. So that could be an additional triggering item.

Any way, I'm still standing, battered and beaten but not broken. <3
niteflier replied to Demons2011's response:
Hey D, trying to catch up in 15 minutes with all. have to get up early to get partner to physical therapy. did you know that you can talk to your doctor with regards to having Wylie designated as a therapy dog for you? I have heard it can be done, but I am not sure what states are more strict than others. Wylie is your comfidant, friend and family.......he should be with you always. Just a thought and something you might want to look into. (((((Hugs))))

Perhaps the Animal Spirit is so great that one day it may inspire compassion in the human heart. Nan Sea Love

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