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Am I depressed or just overreacting?
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frostpitch posted:
Hello,

Sometimes I see people in my class saying they're depressed, but other people think they're just overreacting or attention seeking. I've seen them cut several times, and one time they even had a "Self-Harm Party" which I think is ridiculous and weird. Self-harming is not a joke.

Now, lately I've been sad for no reason at all, and I also feel insecure about myself. Not about my body, not about how I look, not about how cool I am compared to other girls.

I'm anxious about my brain.

I'd say extremely anxious but I'm scared some people won't think so.

I've only got two friends in class, and they're all brainiacs, and I feel like I'm the only person who isn't as smart as my friends. They always get higher grades than me, and they've called me stupid several times although they're just joking, but it hit me really hard. My younger sister, 4 years younger than me, is also smarter than I was in her current age, and that makes me uncomfortable and disturbed.

Recently, I joined post-school lessons with other kids from other schools. When I asked my mom which schools they're mostly from, she answered that all of them are from a quite sophisticated school full of intelligent kids. I remember taking their enrollment test. I could not understand even a single question. I became anxious but then I comforted myself; maybe they're not as smart as they say.

But I was wrong.

Last week we talked about Maths and one of the students said that they haven't learned about the current lesson yet, and then the teacher started talking from the basics, and the whole class understood. The whole class understood, except me. I was afraid and ashamed to ask and I know that I should throw my worries away but I just can't.

My parents always say that they're here to help me, but every time I don't understand something my dad would hit me and I always study by myself since then. He promised not to hit me anymore, but his words hurt. Even his slaps don't hurt as much.

Sorry for my English, English isn't my first language.

Am I depressed or just overreacting? Am I taking things too seriously? Or, based on my description, have you spotted other symptoms that are not depression? Please tell me. I am confused.
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lissmeanstrouble responded:
I dont think that you mean to over-react, and what other percieve as over reacting, can actually be a persons anxiety that they are unable to control, sometimes people have over-active nerve endings in their brains that send too many nervous signals. Yes you may be more concerned then the average student, but this is not bad.
I too was not very good at math in school, I always paid very close attention in school, and when i got into high school classes were too easy for me cause I was in advanced classes in middle school and had already learned what they were teaching, EXCEPT for math. I was always in the basic math class, I was always having to cheat on tests, Im not going to lie the only reason I passed chemistry and geometry, physics, algebra, etc was because I had a couple of really nice smart friends who let me copy their work. I know thats not very honest, but Im just trying to show you that alot of folks struggle in school and we all have different ways of handling it.

Your dad shouldnt slap you.
My dad slapped me once and I never forgave him. We are very close, and he becomes ashamed of himself if I bring up that incident, he is actually in denial over it. Your dad might feel the same way, but its not fair that you are now fearful of reaching out for help I am sorry!
 
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Prime_Number responded:
I am very sorry to hear about your anxiety. I think you may have internalized your dad's inappropriate behaviour. No one should be slapped for any reason. You associate being slapped with not knowing the answers, or the perception that you are not smart enough. Now instead of your dad slapping you, you are mentally slapping yourself for the same reasons.

I taught two courses at a university. Believe me, lots of people may pretend to understand, or look like they understand because they say nothing, but really they are too afraid to be seen as not being smart enough. I can also tell you that the best student I ever had was not necessarily the most intelligent, or the person who had an intuitive grasp of the issues, but the one who showed up, asked questions and learned. We are all born without any knowledge at all. Don't beat yourself up because you are still learning.

It is not obvious from how you write that your first language is not English. You apparently excel in this area. However, even if you were no good at anything scholastic, which is not the case, you would still be a worthwhile human being. Your human worth doesn't come from being the most intelligent person you know. It comes from within.

We all have different priorities and standards by which we measure ourselves and come up short. You have chosen this issue of "smartness" as a measure of your worth. No matter how smart you are or how much you learn, you will probably always judge yourself to not be good enough, because this judgment is coming from low self-worth. Is there a counselor you can talk to about your feelings?

We should not be measured by what we are, but by what we do. Congratulate yourself on trying your best and the value you place on learning. You are already ahead of the game. Never mind about what anybody else is. In the world, there are always people who are better and worse than us in every endeavour. We can only just do our best with what we have.

Best of luck to you.
 
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JimmyBones responded:
In four years of college I was in a same class with
Bob R. and Bob B. They were both A students.

Bob B would sit in class and absorb the material while most of us were scrambling to write down notes as quickly as possible.
Bob R would take copious notes and study 2 to 3 hours a night.

I was B- student. I had neither of their giftsl: Mental
capabilites for instant understanding and retention for Bob B
- not me.
And a work ethic for Bob R that was beyond me . I was quite happy where I was Cs and Bs and an occasional A in my
major, English Literature. I enjoyed college. I graduated with a 2.76 average. Both Bob's hovered just below a 4.00.

If you are doing your best , then you are right where you are supposed to be. Don't compare. It is meaningless. You are who you are. It is what it is. Be the best person, student and Frostppitch you can be. When you don't understand - ASK. There are usually ten or more others in the class who don't understand but. Pride kicks in and they wait until later to ask a friend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I don't understand. You learn by asking. There are things that convince you not to ask: Embarassment, fear, ego, pride and more. Don't interrupt your learning cycle because of these. You are you. Be the best you, you can be. Blessings, Jimmy Bones and


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