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    icys56 posted:
    I've recently made alot of changes to my life. i wasnt super happy but i was content. i didnt have alot and struggled day to day to eat pay bills etc. i lived with roommates had a crappy paying job that barely payed the bills and allowed me about 2 dollars a day to eat.
    then i met her on a dating site. it felt like a strong connection. she was smart funny gorgeous. So a month later i moved in with her away from all that i knew.
    she lived an hour away so i quit my job and started looking. after almost a month and seeing the financial tole i was on her i took the first job that came up. It payed almost double my prior job but was over an hour away and with gas prices i feel like i'm hurting this more than helping.
    before that when i moved in i found out she was still talking and talking intimately with ex boyfriends or people she just hadnt cut off yet. in her life. i shortly found out she never cuts her ex's or men shes dated out of her life. She literally has more male contacts in her phone she has dated than women i've talked to in 4 years. Not to mention this but i'm prior military and therefore a bit of a neat freak. i'm not necessarily white glove inspection clean but tidy. she had almost a foot of junk on the floor the day i moved in. when she came home from work she would start at the front door and take clothes off as she walked through the house. then she told me she was going to get fired from her job anyday. at first i thought she was kidding then she convinced me. so i asked her to start looking for jobs. it took months to do this. she still hasnt and doesnt plan to fully and shes been fired for over a month now. i feel like a sex object to her most the time. she doesnt listen or act on anything i say or ask and she makes no conscious effort to include me in her life. were exact opposites.
    while this is going on i've started a new job and went from blue collar to white collar over night. its wierd sitting at a desk 8 hours a day instead of being an electrican. i think i'm getting use to it but its still very new to me. i took the job because we needed me to haVE an income and i thought i was going to be helping people. i'm a case worker for a state that helps those in need with food, medical and financial assistance. however since i took this job i've helped very few that needed it and seen many of those who abuse the system get it. so i'm not really fullfilled in my work. i'm very upset with my home life.
    before i met this woman i was a gamer. i would come home and game. i put all that down to be the house cleaner while i wasnt working. and in no time i had this home clean and proper. but since i started working i dont have all the time or energy or desire to do it anymore and its right back to where it was when i moved in because she still wont pick up her things.
    i still dont like sex with her cause it feels like a chore instead of somthing fun to do.
    i dislike my job because of everything else going on and starting to make costly errors at work by talking about how much i hate my life and whats going on.
    so today i think i've finally realized i'm depressed. i asked the g/f what she thinks and she thinks i need pills and to see a shrink. i'm starting to think and have thought for awhile i just dont like her and our relationship is the cause of all of this. I need some professional advice on where to go before i screw up and lose my job and myself.
    Sincerely Chris
    itmatsb responded:
    Hi Chris, You have made some bad choices as you point out. ou have control over your life and what future choices you make. I think that the home situation is your worst problem. So move out. Stop talking about your life at work. That is a big mistake. You can try an anti-depressant, but you have plenty to be depressed about. Counseling may be the best option for you or both. But start with moving out first, then look for a new job if the job bothers you so much. Good luck to you.

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