getting it off my chest
chrissyzajac posted:
havent had a great life. only thing i am truely happy and grateful about is my beautiful baby girl (almost 3 now). i was raped twice when i was young and yea im over it but of course im not gonna forget something like that, my father died from alcoholism when i was 8 (im now 25), im not close with anyone in my family, my very first relationship with a guy lasted 6 years but he cared more about his car and lied too much, my second relationship (and last) was where i got my baby girl from- he was emotionally abusive to me for all 3 years and is a dead beat dad ever since the baby came out of me, i have 2 close friends, ive been single for 2 and a half years now and been led on by 2 great guys 3 times. im done giving my heart out and it getting shi* on and given back to me. i am living with my mom and her bf and getting taken advantage of (again), i have no car and no job, nobody in my family or friends will babysit for me to even get a job and daycares are only open on weekdays and all jobs want weekend hours, i have no money and no child support, im forced to be dependant on my mom who has issues on her own that im forced to deal with, and i literally have the body of a 40 year old (i constantly hurt from my carpel tunnel in both hands and condromalacia in both knees, on top of my depression (i take meds), and i have really bad feet, im out of shape and im an emotional eater. if it wasnt for my baby girl giving me a reason to stay sane i would hate to see where i am if she wasnt in my life. even tho im 100% sure God hates me i thank him every day for giving me her. literally everytime something good will happen or is about to happen something bad happens first and 4x worse.... sorry but i just needed to tell someone. thank you for listening
chrissyzajac responded:
oh and just an fyi im not in any way suicidal and i dont hurt myself. im not that way. i just sulk in things for a long time but my meds help that for the most part. i still feel stressed all the damn time about all this