Depression Community

What thoughts are going through your head? Nothing has happened to make you feel this way? Even little things can trigger feeling depressed.

Not that I know of. Just a horrible sense of sadness and guilt and almost paranoia.

hi, patience65, i am new to this board. in fact, this is my first post. i have been looking around for a board to join and for some reason kept coming back to this one. i read your post and just felt compelled to respond. i am not a super depressed person, but i am going through what i firmly believe is a depression right now. i like to reach out to people who really need someone to just listen with an empathetic ear. i dont know you but by the words u used in the title or whatever of your post, it just sounded like a cry for help of sorts, and i just cldnt look at those words and read your post and move on. i just felt like i needed to respond. i hope the negative feelings you are experiencing flee from you quickly.

I do need someone to listen. I'm alone in my own home. I'm grateful for whatever brought you back to this board. I feel useless alone and so sad every day and night. My boss has even noticed. I'm afraid for my job and my sanity. We have no health insurance, so counseling is out. My husband is no help at all, and my poor 16 yr old son is being neglected. I'm so far down the tunnel, I'm having a hard time seeing the end.

Try to hang in there. Winter doesn't help but spring will be here shortly. Try to focus on doing something well, maybe work or something like that. Make a game of it. Sometimes that makes me feel better.

I know you said you were limited in your medical options but is it possible that the doctor needs to change your medicine?

There are many anti-depressant medications that cost $4 per month. I had good luck with Prozac. But I would caution you against effexor / venlaflexine as it has many side effects and intense and immediate withdrawal symptoms if you miss a dose. I took Prozac for many years and it worked very well and you can get the generic version for $4 per month. The worse side effect from prozac was loss of libido, but when you are so depressed and crying, it's worth the trade off. I did not experience any withdrawal symptoms when I went off of prozac aside from the return of my depression symptoms.

Do you live where the sun rarely is out in the winter? My depression is always worse in winter due to lack of sun. Vitamin D can help with that. If you can't stop crying, maybe medication is a good option. Depression is an awful illness. I've had it most of my life. Medication can be a life saver. Have you tried it yet? Also, vitamin B can also be helpful. Cutting back on sugar and salt, also can help. But, if you can't function and cry all the time, I'd suggest giving meds a try. They are cheap and they can give you your life back. They can get you out of that terrible funk so you can think again and make the rest of your decisions without the weight of depression oppressing you.

I understand! Depression is debilitating. Do you think you'd be open to trying medication? Are you thinking about wanting to die from the depression? Have you lost hope? Do you feel like you have no energy to do anything? Do the things that used to make you happy now make you feel sad?

If so, give meds a try.

Hugs & Hope,
Suzian

hi patience, i appologize for the delay in responding. my laptop took a hard dive and $200 later, it is A-OK. not one, but 4 trojan horse viruses! i am lucky that more damage wasnt done. anyway, you described a pretty dark and seeminly bleak scenario. i am so sorry for your situation. please do the best you can to hang on. i have been at some pretty dark places myself. hence the reason i am now part of this board. while things are on the upswing for me, i want to help and encourage others through the situations they are facing. is there one specific thing that has you so very down? regarding the counseling, are you and your husband willing to go ? i am in CA , and i am not sure what state you are in, but are there state funded programs you can apply for for mental health assistance? perhaps you could get in touch with your local hospital and inquire there. although they may not have services at the hospital, they may be able to refer you to services that are available in your community. please keep us posted.

hi suzian, just wanted to say hi and that i thought you had a real good commentary in your post there. thank you for sharing a little bit about our own situation. personally, i am not a meds person whatsoever, but all people (including myself) need to recogniize that sometimes giving medicine a try can yield pretty significant results (in a positive way). has your depression ever affected your interest in activities you once enjoyed? this has been a major factor for me, unfortunately. in fact, part of the reason i came to this community was to hopefully be inspired myself from others who are experiencing similar symptoms.

hi patience, i just now read your response to what displaced asked you. i asked your a similar question and just got my query answered by reading what you wrote. i have guilt and some paranoia issues, too. sometimes i feel like i may be copdependent, but i feel like that is such a buzzword. but hey, if the shoe fits, right? try being brutally honest with yourself and figure out if you have a legitimate reason for the guilt and paranoia. kind of do a check up on the various areas of your life and if you come across an area that is good reason to feel guilt or paranoia, have trusted loved ones help you devise a plan to take better care of those areas.

hugs to you!

Hey, its ok. If you're depressed, you should look for something that could've made you depressed. You don't get depressed by nothing. And if you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to us.

Im fairly new to this community and I couldnt help myself when I read your post. I felt I needed to respond. Im kinda at the other end and wishing I could cry. I keep things bottled up. Its hard for me to talk to my family, they tend to feel guilty cuz they dont know what to say. I tell them just to tell me I love you. Sometimes it makes me feel better then i seem to jump in a hole with both feet asking myself why I just burdened my family with my problems.

Im seeking another dr to help me. I have only seen my primary doc. She is trying to help. I reqested a change in my meds due to weight gain (60 lbs) and because it just didnt seem to work any longer. Im feeling a little better and can smile more ofter. My mother is in denial and doesnt believe I need to a psychiatrist cuz there isnt anything wrong with me.

I wanted to suggest that you find out which pharmeceutical company is making the drug(s) the doc wants to prescribe to you. While I was going to a clinic that participates with these drug progams and I got my meds for dispensing fees only about 5.00 for a 3 month supply. There is probably a clinic in your area that does the same thing. I went to my local welfare dept. and requested help in locating a doc that I could see and it would be on a sliding scale. They have a program I believe it is called Well Women or something similar. but it got my payment down to just 10.00 a visit. Check to see if there is a program you can be a part of. My clinic also has psych students, counselors, and primary care for the family. These places wont be turning you away cuz you cant pay. They will take payments.

Your local hospital will have docs they can refer you to. And can give you info on support group meetings.

I know I have said alot, but it is worth checking into. You need ehelp and I hope you find it with these suggestions.

Good luck and may tomorrow be a better day for everyone.

I totally understand the uncontrolable crying it happens to me all the time.ive been on several different meds trying to get ahandle on the depression,!! i feel so alone! idont have any family,the only friend i have is dealing with her newly disabled husband ,so i have to find otherpeople to talk to.i wish icould find women in the same situation ln my area.someone to go shopping with etc.,

Hello Patience 1965. I hope by now you are feeling much better. I am a real veteran of depression, first realizing what was happening while in college almost 40 years ago. What I have found is that the helplessness amplifies the real problem. There are many ways to get some relief on your own. I will suggest only a few in this message.

Even though I still avoid doing this myself until I an forced to do it, a good cry helps. Once I get going, I usually cry myself into exhaustion. Sometimes I do this in the shower with the water running just to camouflage the sound because I don't want anyone to know what is happening. I only allow myself to do this when I won't have to see anyone for 12 hour or so. By then I have diffused the terrible feelings and the swelling in my face has gone down. This is not a fix, just a release, but it helps. Another thing I do is sit in a corner and try to write about how I feel and why. It is the second best thing to talking to a therapist. In order to write what is happening, you have to what is happening and sometimes I come up with an idea about what I can do to feel better. For me, writing works well after a hard cry. I am more open to it because I really want to feel better.

Another route that helped me a lot is the The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns. It does not replace a therapist, but it can have a remarkable impact on how you feel about things. Someone else mentioned Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I find that mine gets worse every year. When you feel able, you might want to read a little about that.

Some people I know got relief from alternative medicines. I have not tried it because I take other medications that can be modified by herbs, etc. They could work for you.

At the very least, keep thinking that the feelings you are experiencing will pass. Search very hard to find a way to make yourself feel better - take a bubble bath, take a walk and listen to nature, lean against a tree, picture a happy place - even if it is totally fictional. If all else fails, try any way you know to distract yourself from the pain when it gets too intense. A funny or favorite movie might help, too.

You might also see what you can find regarding stress relief. It is a major contributor to depression. I was able to take a class on MBSR, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction with Bob Stahl, who has since written the book
A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook by Bob Stahl PhD. It is meditation based and has gotten me through some very difficult times. This program requites time and dedication, but I have seen amazing results in other students as well.



Please know that you are not alone and you are not losing your mind. You are overwhelmed and need to find some reliI wish you the best of luck.

Hello everyone--
I am new here, age 49, been dealing with depression, panic, and anxiety for years.
One thing we all must do is constantly remind ourselves that we are not useless, and we have a purpose on this earth, even if we haven't realized what it is yet. Even if it is to reach out and share with others who are struggling, that is a great thing!
The negative self talk is another thing to be aware of, and try to turn those thoughts into something that is telling you that you are the best you can be right at this moment, and through the tough times, strength will come.
I hear my mind trying to tell me constantly that i am a failure and worthless, and if i let that get to me, i am a wreck before long.
Mostly, know that you are not alone. Many of us suffer, and lots of people choose to suffer alone, thinking that they are not even worth getting help.
I am here for anyone that needs a friend!
Blessings and Prayers
Sandy