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    Sick of not finding help!!
    Loser783031 posted:
    I have suffered from depression for years, tried suicide several times, but I am just at a point I feel like I'm losing my mind, and I am having this problem I don't know what it is and no one on the internet seems to acknowledge my problem, but I went through a long period of time with absolutely no sexual desire or arousal, and I was so happy about that, I don't care about ever having sex, but recent months, I can't seem to stop thinking about different fetishes and maybe some of it is from being almost 35 and still a virgin, but it's gotten to a point, and I say shamefully, that I think I have to turn on porn, and I just hate it, what really doesn't make sense to me really, is that usually after the arousals come, I usually have to go pee. I don't understand, but I just feel like total scum and worthless and just want to die
    bridie55511 responded:
    Dear 783031 -- Don't give up. You are not scum! You are a product of a society where porn is ubiquitous -- it has pervaded everything and it is no wonder that it has affected you the way it has. I urge you read Dr. L. Sax's book: "Boys Adrift". I think you will find it a treasure -- there are MANY, MANY young men like you. This is also not to mention the affects of the environment have been wreaking havoc on male levels of testoserone (scary, it has been decreasing at an alarming rate)!

    You are brave to post, and I commend you for doing so. Only by sharing will you find relief. It's there...I know you will find it.
    SuzianStar responded:
    Dear 783031 -
    Sounds like you are feeling really down about yourself. I know how that feels - it's an awful feeling. I think any feelings you have about sex are totally normal and natural as long as there is no one being harmed. Porn is okay. Maybe this is just your time to explore some of your sexual feelings. There is no shame. It is a natural, healthy part of being alive. Try not to judge yourself so harshly. I suspect you may not be getting lots of replies because people are just king of afraid of the subject. So much of sexuality is suppressed in our culture while being thrown in our face in every TV show, billboard and magazine. It can be very confusing. But try to give yourself a break. I don't know much about the feeling of needing to pee, but I would recommend you try to just let the feeling take its natural course. Sex is a natural, healthy part of being a living creature. Try to approach your feelings with curiosity and try to toss the shame and self loathing out the window. Maybe you were raised with some shame based messages about sex. I don't know. Sometimes keeping a journal can be helpful. I keep a journal when things are too hard for me to figure out. Writing it all out, for your eyes only, can be a very enlightening process. Perhaps give it a try. And enjoy yourself. It's okay.
    Loser783031 replied to SuzianStar's response:
    Thanks, I've always had a great household and raising so I can rule that out in my opinion, but I don't know, I just said a long serious prayer, I think that helped a lot, but only time will tell I suppose......
    Loser783031 replied to bridie55511's response:
    Thanks, I appreciate the kindness a lot, I did say a long prayer one night, I feel that helped a lot, I guess only time will tell the whole story, I know part of the situation will be self fighting the urges when they come......
    obxcats replied to Loser783031's response:
    This may sound completely weird but its along the prayer lines. When I get to feeling really horrible about things I do something I dont often do at any other times. I talk to God and thank him for everything thing that is good in my life. I also pray for those that are hurting more than I. Often times we take one aspect of our life and dwell on it to much while we forget that we do have some good things in our lives. To ask God to help those that are hurting worse than me, somehow, makes me a giver who genuinely wants to help others. I can then find good in that and in-turn find it in myself. Remember we all have feelings bad feelings about ourselves from time to time.
    Loser783031 replied to obxcats's response:
    That is so absolutely true there!!, yea I did that the other night, a long emotional prayer, a few tears in the process, things have gotten a little better so far, I guess just take it one day at a time with it though........

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