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    beautifulbuffalo posted:
    I'm 49 years old and get the feeling all the time of feeling homesick but I'm home. I get knots in my stomach often. I suffer major depression, PTSD and anxiety. I recently went on disability. I am having a lot of trouble adjusting to not working after working for 21 years. I'm going on 29 years of marriage. I stayed home and raised our 2 children until they both started school. I remember as a teenager being forced to babysit and I was always homesick. I just feel so lonely.
    Ajaradom responded:
    Beautiful Buffalo (that's nice

    Loneliness is painful. What hobbies or activities have brought you joy in the past? Have you thought about volunteering? Have you thought about taking community/continuing ed courses on fun topics --- courses you might enjoy.

    I don't have the answer --- I ask the questions to help you, and it helps me too

    Shalom my friend,

    beautifulbuffalo replied to Ajaradom's response:
    I have some hobbies but they are hard to do with an 18 month running around. I babysit for him because his mother can't afford daycare., So my life is on hold. I'm doing ok but not what I want to do at 50. I'm on disability retirement and I've yet to enjoy the retirement part. I'm stuck because he is at your every move. If your on the computer he wants to be on the computer, If you want to read a book he wants to rip the book. He is on the go every minute.
    Ajaradom replied to beautifulbuffalo's response:
    Hi BB,

    Yep, an 18 month old can definitely keep you busy. It does take your mind off yourself a little, right

    Several years back I was watching my nephew --- he was coloring in a coloring book --- I picked up the crayons and began coloring ---- well, I continued the coloring for over a year --- the coloring really helped me --- it calmed me --- it was simple and I was able to finish one page at a time

    I was in the hospital (psychiatric ward) in 2009 --- what do you think they had in the activity/community room? Yes, crayons and coloring pages. I worked on a page while I was there --- I would listen to the people around me while I colored --- the activity brought me so much peace! The picture is now hanging in my home studio --- it's one of my favorite pieces --- it's bright, lots of color, and it makes me smile. I remember all the beautiful, hurting souls who shared that short time with me in the hospital.

    Maybe you can do some fun stuff w/ the little fellow running around you ---- finger painting is really fun --- putting your fingers in the paint and squeezing it between your fingers

    Great to hear from you Stay strong BB!


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