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Share Your Small Steps That Bring You Back To The Light
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Ajaradom posted:
As one who has lived with clinical depression most of my adult life, I have a love/hate relationship with it's emotional darkness. Sometimes I believe that the darkness serves to protect me and keep me safe until I have the strength to journey back to the light. Other times I feel the darkness is a miry bog that slowly sucks the life out of me.

For me, the protective darkness is sleep. It would take me a life time to calculate all the hours I've slept in order to continue living, rather existing. "Oh to sleep per chance to dream".....sorry, not sure who said this -- somebody help me remember --- was it Shakespeare that wrote this? Sadly, I rarely remember my dreams. Sleep is my cacoon ---- I'm wrapped warm in my blankets, and I can escape the utter agony of being awake in the black, miry bog I call languishment.

Somehow, someway I've always come through the bog --- after years of existing in the languishment, after five (at least) suicide attempts, after years of medication (THANK GOD FOR ALL THE SCIENTISTS, CHEMISTS, DOCTORS, AND OH DON'T FORGET THE GINNY PIGS .....somehow, someway I get back to the light --- the place where the air is light and shiny, where I feel light and shiny, a place where I sleep like a baby, and I wake up all clean, fresh and shiny

As you, my brothers and sisters of the miry bog, and I know, the bright and shiny days are few and far between because we live with an illness, a disease that causes more emotional darkness than it does emotional light.

This brings me to my desire for this discussion I'm opening --- I would love to know the little steps, the little actions, the tiny movements that help you get back to the light. Because, you see, what you share with me and with others may be the little, tiny movement that saves my life when I'm drowning in the miry bog ..... or saves your brother or sister.

I'll start:

>> COLORING IN A COLORING BOOK <<

>> PICKING FLOWERS <<

>> ARRANGING FLOWERS IN A VASE <<

>> SITTING IN THE SUNSHINE LIFTING MY FACE TO THE SUN <<

>> FILING MY FINGERNAILS <<

>> WRITING A NOTE TO A FRIEND <<


I'll be thinking of other tiny steps

Peace my friends,

Lori
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An_250672 responded:
I could go out and work in my gardens, kill the honeysuckle and poison ivy or go for a walk. But I can't all I can do is sleep. When I'm not at work(part time) I'm in bed . Well until my husband comes home. My medicine makes me have nightmares. I'm sorry I have to go .I have this headache that is upsetting my stomach.
((hugs))


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