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    At This Point [and 53 now] I Have Just Given Up
    avatar
    An_250812 posted:
    I am now 53,60+ lbs overweight,disabled and unable to work,Had a HORRIFIC Childhood+Life,Things you just cant post,! Hated,and Disliked by Everyone,No Friends,Stay in my apt,wife and kids dont bother with me,really dont even talk to me,Had a beautiful puppy,after 30 yrs? of wanting to get another,Loved her with all my heart,killing her by not knowing how to properly take care of her,she died overweight and with complete liver and kidney shutdown,she suffered,this broke me completely,and i just dont care anymore,have type 2 diabeties,and constantly eat.I Dont see things EVER getting any better....
    Reply
     
    avatar
    semed responded:
    I understand how you feel. Especially when you have pets that are loved so much and have died. I have put both of my pugs down due to age and neurogical problems. With age came problems. You seem to have had your pet a very long, and it has had a deep affect on you. You arent alone.

    Dont give up! Just take one step (moment/day) at a time and you will feel better. The pain will be there for a long time but you will begin to have good days again.

    You are in my prayers and thoughts tonight. I just wanted to let you know someone does cares.
     
    avatar
    tommary410 replied to semed's response:
    semed
    Hi,Thank You For the kind words,had no insurance,now being sued for services i feel werent given to her,sick as she was why didnt the vets have a clue?? 4 visits in last 6 mos,year before she was in hospital for 4 days,nothing they could find,but told she responded to saline injections,to do this for her....for a pup under 5 years old,still blame myself for not taking her out on a schedule,I let her tell me when,there was usually a 4-7 hr or better wait in between walks, i was lazy and neglectful and caused her demise...She wasn't a "Dog" to me,she was family.
     
    avatar
    semed replied to tommary410's response:
    You are welcome! I do enjoy talking with people, and I am the same age as you. So both of us have been around long enough to love unconditionally. Well so does our pets. TThey are integral parts of our family.

    Kira, the last pug I had, wouldnt even go outside to poop.
    She would ask to go out to pee but she always came in and did her business. It was frustrating to say the least. Age was getting her down and I tried to ignore the signs I was seeing. We (my family and I) were going to move and we know she couldnt survive the move, so my daughter and son-in-law took her to the humane society. She wasnt eating and then wasnt going to the bathroom at all. We all knew what was coming and I couldnt and didnt handle it all. I felt her going was my fault and selfishness. I didnt want her to be old, I didnt want to see her suffer and still I ignored the signs that were in my face.

    Overall, I feel that part of me died with her, so you see I wasnt trying to make just you feel better--I needed to be better too. You made me realize just how much I miss her. She was always my baby.

    I am getting a little choked up here so I am going to go now. I have had too many losses in my life and it is hard to put them in order.

    I know it will hurt for a long time, but God promised me when my husband died at 32 that everything works out in the end. I will make that same promise to you. You may feel guilty and I know it hurts but time will make it a little easier.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you!!


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