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    Sad times
    semed posted:
    I feel kinda sad today. I heard some very rude statements from someone I have known for years. And I attacked back since he was judging people like me. I have alot of problems physically and mentally. I am obese,diabetic-type 2, moderate to severe depression, fibro, arthritis, and blood pressure isnt doing very well recently.

    I try not to judge people cuz I know how I have had problems and I feel guilty about being a burden to my family due to it. Yet I cannot abide people who are judgemental and bigoted. I guess in a way Im being judgemental. I try not to be.

    I feel rather low cuz of what this friend and I have written on FB.

    I dont know how to keep myself from feeling hurt and depressed about his attack in general. If someone has a way to cope with being let down, please let me know. I hurt and am in tears as I write this cuz I know deep down my friend wasnt always so hurtful.

    Please help me to work thru this barage of emotions I am feeling.

    I HURT!!!
    kitty10017 responded:
    Semed - I have learned that FB is the devil! Even though it is a great way to connect with old friends, it can cause one to become more depressed - I know firsthand. I would look at old friends pages and see them get married and have children, etc and it just made me more depressed because I felt like I couldn't relate. I am going to turn 30 and my boyfriend just broke up with me last month and I feel like I may never find someone, and I get envious of those who have found that someone (yes, I know, my therapist and others have told me that just because things are shiny and happy on FB or when you see them, it may not be that way behind the scenes - but in all honesty, I want that behind the scenes with someone).

    Talk to your friend offline. If they don't want to listen or if they are still rude to you, then they really aren't a friend in the first place - another lesson I have learned! I have learned to pick and choose friends very carefully. You may think at first they are there for support, but they say nasty things behind your back - and in front of you.

    To be happy, you need to be around people who will make you happy - psh, I should take my own advice. It is VERY hard, trust me, I know, but sometimes you have to force yourself. Maybe join a local bookclub or a some sort of group that shares the same interests as you. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Go away for the weekend. I know it's very hard, but you must push yourself to make yourself happy. Don't hang around with those who will bring you down (and delete your FB! Haha - it's just another thing that causes people to get depressed).
    lissmeanstrouble responded:
    First piece of advice, is to get off of Facebook, and pick up the phone and speak about your disagreement!
    semed replied to kitty10017's response:
    Thank you for understanding my problem. What makes it worse is that this was the first time I had been on FB in over 2 yrs.

    My friend was upset that his words hurt me, so he emailed me and apologized. He is gay and someone he knew went on FB and attaked him very rudely and specifically. Ive known him for a long time (over 20 years.) I also know he is bigoted has been from the get go. He was accepted by my family at face value and always have we loved him. As years go by he has become very verbal about politics and those around him. It is sad but true.

    I sound like I am judging him but Im not. In every relationship there is good and bad. He has changed alot since we lived in Phoenix. My husband passed away at 32 and I moved my kids and I back to Idaho, my home. He passed a little over 19 years ago. I had it tough for most of this time. Docs are saying I am suffering from PTSD because of it. I am not surprised.

    I feel better today especially since I read your response. I know how you feel about looking in while standing on the side lines. I dont know if I will ever have another relationship, I can only hope I meet a someone that supports me and the other way around.

    It may come my way and I hope to see it happening without my blinders on. I have always had a hard time making friends. I try to accept people for who they are. Inevitably they have done something to hurt me or I hurt them. Real friends take the good with the bad and grow more close for it.

    I hope you find someone to spend your life with and that this person becomes a friend before anything else. You have gotto like the person in order to have a real life with him. That is how my late husband and I were, and I feel that we would have spent a long life together. He died of bi-lateral pneumonia. It was very hard for me, and yet I know he has been with me all this time.

    I wish this for you and everyone else who is suffering thru these problems on their own. I believe everything is better when shared with someone special.

    I am still clinically depressed, and still have all of my problems physically, but thru all of it hope still has a solid corner. I couldnt go on if it werent so.

    Good luck and many blessings on your search for that someone special.

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