Can I Be Happy Again?
kitty10017 posted:
I have been dealing with depression for over a year. I see a therapist once a week and a psychopharmocologist once a month or every two months. I am on Wellbutrin and Zoloft. The depression first started last year when my boyfriend broke up with me. I was 28 years old and I felt like my world was collapsing. I was in a dead end job, I was in over $25K of debt, I was still living at home, I just gave up my car, I couldn't concentrate on simple things like reading - I felt trapped. I lost 30lbs (I went down to a weight of 107). I wouldn't go out, I secluded myself. Over the course of 2012, I was getting better. I was still upset over my ex and always kept thinking "Why would anyone want to love me?" and would blame myself for everything going wrong (relationship and life). Then in September, I started dating a wonderful guy I have known for a long time. I felt a happiness I didn't know I could feel again. Then he broke up with me last month and I feel like I am back to square one. I don't want to go out again. I am still taking the medications, but I still feel like there is nothing in life for me. I have trouble sleeping (I was just put on Ambien to help me sleep through the night). I feel sad, lonely and lost. The difference between last year and this year is that last year, I felt like I broke into a million pieces - this year, I am just sad and upset. I got a new job last year. My debt has gone down considerably. I have learned to live without a car (especially living in the NYC area, I can). I am reading a lot. But the thoughts of not ever being good enough for someone and that it must have been my fault he broke up with me is back. And so many people tell me it's going to get better, but what if it never does? Lonliness is one of my fears as I get older, and each year I feel more and more lonely.

How does one force yourselves to go out? How does one put positive thoughts in their head and believe that they ARE good enough for someone? How do people become positive again? I am losing hope for everything - being happy, finding someone...How do others do it
wannatalk65 responded:
I just tried posting a reply to you and got it kicked back.
You will be fine, you sound very sensible, smart, and things will be positive for you. You need find yourself a hobby, or something you like doing to help clear your head. It worked for me, and now I am slowly opening my eyes. Caught in a web of something I never did want to see. Read my post before yours. You will understand.
lissmeanstrouble responded:
focus on yourself not on others, when you are too busy making yourself happy is when a man of your dreams will find you. When he finds you, dont lose track of yourself again or you will lose him again, just focus on making YOU happy, and everything else will fall into place.
lissmeanstrouble replied to wannatalk65's response:
Jus focus on what makes you happy. Focus on making you better. Focus on you completely and mr right will wander into your life. When you find mr right, dont become consumed in him, take care of you, and keepthat regimen up, and you will never lose your mr right.

other people are attracted to responsibility and confidence, and anyone who is focused on doing the best for themselves will eventuall earn their confidence, and shine shine shine on.
kitty10017 replied to lissmeanstrouble's response:
@lissmeanstrouble - I wish you were the first person to say to me to focus on what makes me happy - but you and everyone tells me this. But the problem is, I don't know what makes me happy anymore. The things I used to love to do, i.e. go out to bars with friends, etc., doesn't appeal to me anymore. I am forcing myself to go out this weekend with a friend for St. Patty's Day - I don't really want to but I know I should just to get out of the house - I haven't been out since my ex broke up with me over a month ago.

The things that would make me happy are too expensive! haha I am going away in April to Disney (something I do love) but as much as I am looking forward to it, I think about what is going to happen after - I will just be back where I was - sad and lonely. I just feel like I am at a dead end street and don't know how to turn around to go back onto the main road....
lissmeanstrouble replied to kitty10017's response:
Has anyone ever told you that you have to do something you have never done before to get something youve never had?
Im sorry kitty!
I wish I had fresh new advice for you, but talking about these things really helps, even if it may appear you are going around in circles, it will get better.
You SHOULD go out, theres no reason not to. You have identified its your depression holding you back, so dont let it, go out, and do your BEST to enjoy it. Some times you can surprise yourself. Sometimes the night can be lame. But you win some you lose some.