Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up

Announcements

Please take some time to click through these links to find out more about our community.

What is a Trigger and When to Trigger a Post
How and Why to Report a Post
Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, call 911 or get to the ER.


*TRIGGER!* -- Can't tell therapist about suicide, threatens to send to hospital
avatar
An_251190 posted:
I have been in therapy for over 4 years now, with this therapist for two years. She is pretty young and married, attractive woman. I am 33, female. She have diagnosed me with GAD and dysthymia. I am on one medication, Welbutrin, 300MG for several months now.

She always asks me during sessions if I have suicide thoughts and if they are constant or fleeting. I think about suicide almost every day as an option for my life. I don't have much in my life to feel bad about leaving it. I have never really fit in, make very little money and live alone/eat all meals alone because I am not good with socializing and being accepted. I can list out the things in my life that demonstrate there's nothing here for me, so please don't say 'you have so much to live for, etc.' I have to lie and tell her they aren't constant thoughts. The few times I told her they were persistent she said I was scaring her and would have to go get evaluated at the hospital. I think the hospital trip is pointless and ridiculous and from what I have read online they don't do much of anything anyways, right? If someone want to die, the hospital trip is like a pit stop, really. I don't want to be embarrassed going there for something like that. I live in a small town & the idea of it is extremely stressful for me.

I do not know if it is 'normal' for a depressed person to get worse, to shirk daily responsibilities because of zero motivation, sit and research suicide methods for accuracy. I want to ask these things and tell her about my thoughts; I feel my depression is worsening and want to share that too, this is a Catch 22 and I feel trapped because she will set off the alarm for me to go to a hospital. Sigh. What are my options on how to handle this? TY.
Reply
 
avatar
deasertrose responded:
When I tell my therapist or pdoc I'm suicidal or really depressed or having thoughts we have this deal. We write out a plan of people to call someone on my list to talk to even the suicide hotline. Hope this helps.
 
avatar
rohvannyn responded:
I wonder if another therapist might be a better fit? After all, part of their ability to help you depends on your being able to be honest with them. If you aren't honest with them, how are they supposed to help? And if they say that you scare them, and give you disincentives to talking, then how are you supposed to be honest? Perhaps an older, more experienced therapist?

Speaking for myself, I have recovered from suicidal thoughts before. I've been destitute, without hope, before. What usually helped me get out of it was finding some tiny spark of purpose in my life, something to live for. In my case it is drawing and painting right now. However, I know it can be hard to find that "thing" that will return life to you, because it's hard to even see it when you are depressed.

I wish you the best.
 
avatar
schittum responded:
Hi An_251190,


First of all I want to say please do not commit suicide it is not the answer. My only child committed suicide 3 1/2 years ago and the pain never ends for those left behind. Almost 11 months ago I lost my husband to a massive heart attack, now it is just me, 4 years ago I had a family now nothing. I have extended family but it is not the same. It turned my life upside down when I lost my son (also when I lost my husband). I am now all alone and I cry every day I am on medication but it does not help. I think you need someone to talk to who will not judge you, if you want to talk to me I would be willing to try to help, I am not a doctor but I know the pain of losing my precious child to suicide. Please do not hurt yourself, your family and friends you leave behind will feel the pain for years to come. People say it gets easier but for me every day without my precious child hurts more and more there are days when I don't want to go on but I do it for my child's memory and try to make him proud. I don't know how old you are but there are other people out there to talk to, find someone you feel comfortable with, please before it is too late.
 
avatar
PlainJaneGirl replied to schittum's response:
I'm sorry about your son, really I am. I do not know his circumstances personally. But please understand I am not your son. My mother died a few years ago and I do not have a father, I have a sister that I do not talk to. So honestly, our situations are not the same.


The whole 'keep living for your family' thing got old to me months ago, I can't keep going on living for other people, that is not a life IMO. Again, I'm sorry to hear about your son and your husband.
 
avatar
PlainJaneGirl replied to rohvannyn's response:
Like your drawing and painting, the only thing I have are books. I like reading, but even that is starting to get old. I just no reason really and nothing here for me personally. I can't point to one reason why I should keep living, my life is exactly the same as it's always been whether I tried to do things differently (and I did) or I don't (which I don't do anything now, no energy). I cannot switch therapists she is my 2nd one and I am limited because of insurance reasons. I have Aspergers and there's hardly any resources out there for women like me. I just feel like a freak that doesn't belong anywhere.
 
avatar
PlainJaneGirl replied to deasertrose's response:
Yes, she have given me the number for the crisis hotline. I have stopped taking my medication (wellbutrin) because I don't even see the point anymore. I don't feel any better on it then I do now.
 
avatar
Daphnebuffettlane responded:
I know how you are feeling ....I have always feared hospitalization..I am 54 and depressed since I was 10... I have avoided going to the hospital by not being honest with Dr.s ,family and friends...I have heard the "snap out of it theory" all of my life....but no one understands the emptiness that depression brings unless you have experienced it...and that you do not fear death but fear life.....I try to make me have a reason to be here...that's how I stay alive...I give blood , I am a bonemarrow donor.......I knit hats for people with cancer....I have to be here to do these things....all of us with depression fight each day with the thoughts of suicde...I made an attempt myself but was luckily saved....because I found out that the people we leave behind are the ones that suffer...so we need to push on take one day at a time....take your meds...try different ones until you feel some what better give the drug time...you will suffer through side effects.. But keep trying...we need you here....


Featuring Experts

Thomas L. Schwartz, MD, received his medical degree from and completed his residency in adult psychiatry at the State University of New York (SUNY) Up...More

Health Insurance in Your State

Learn about plans, benefits, and costs in your state's Marketplace.

From WebMD

Helpful Tips

more to bipolar treatments
I'm bipolar and just went through what I could find in WebMD for this. I noticed a piece is missing. In addition to medication and ... More
Was this Helpful?
2 of 4 found this helpful

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems to the
Food and Drug Administration

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.