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What do you think?
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raerob posted:
If anyone at all can respond, let me know what you think, and if you have been where I am emotionaly, up and down very badly day to day.

I started a walking group on my dead end road. One of the women is a niece by marriage. When she joined the group, she talked alot, I'm mean so much and so fast, you'd want to tell her to breath and plus you could not get a word in. I got aggitated walking with her because of the kinds of things she talked about. She'd talk about driving down our road and looking in peoples windows and seeing there house messy or a picture crooked on the wall and she then told us her granma informed her that if anyone has sheets or blankets hanging up as curtains then they are not very clean people. I was shocked by what she was saying and totally did not agree. Some people may not be able to afford curtains, it does not mean they are dirty slobs..
Ok so as I said above, she aggitated me. We all stopped walking due to winter weather. I also used to be on FB and that was a way to communicate but i shut that down. Anyways I ran into my niece 3 weeks ago and she said they were gonna start walking when the weather breaks and she would call me.She only lives 2 houses down. In order for me to walk, I'd be walking past there houses. I am so down/angry I don't want them to see me.

Well I found out they have been walking for 2 weeks now, I never was called. I was and still feel extremely hurt, left out, angry off and on. I know they type of person she is and she knows everyones business on our road and she is always gossiping about this one or that one. Aggrivating....right??? YES!!

Then can someone help me understand my own feelings? What I do not understand, is if I get aggitated or aggrivated by her, then why should I let it bother me??? I've been crying every single day and watching out the window to see if they are walking everyday and I see they moved there time earlier. Why do I feel so hurt and angry? I don't even understand myself. I am sure it's more then just what I wrote above that is going on with me but i am truly having a difficult time with my feelings.
I feel like I can't get a grip. I probably sound stupid but it's one of the many things bothering me and what also bothers me is it seems petty to me.....so i ask myself, why??? What's going on with me. My husband seems to think Menopause. PMS'ing today so could it be related to PMS'ing and I start with my up and downs 2-3 weeks ago maybe longer. depression/anxiety/anger/emotional/tired and at times I feel like I just can't deal with people. I do not want to be around people when I am like this, I do not want anyone to see me like this. The only ones that do are my husband and my daughter and if anyone shows up or calls I put on an act and say i am ok when I know I am not and I am finding it harder to put on an act but I avoid people as much as I can.
I even wonder, am I jealous or my stinking thinking tells me I would not be surprised if she is gossiping about me because now I kind of don't trust her because i am so hurt by her and a little angry.

I told my husband I want to move, I know this is not the answer.
Is anyone else out there like me? This is petty compared to what's going on in the world but i am trying to sort it out. i don't like myself like this.
Reply
 
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rohvannyn responded:
Petty or not, it's a concern to you and an understandable one. It's natural to want people to think well of us. Especially someone like this who has a track record of gossiping and being really judgemental. I've been where you are, and hormonal shifts really can lead problems to seem bigger than they are. Still, this woman's behavior is affecting you negatively and so that to me makes it improtant enough as it is.

Since you can't really control her runaway mouth (in the abesnce of duct tape, that is... kidding there), you can work on how you react. There are the good old stand bys of deep breathing, taking good care of yourself, venting to folks like us, etc. Also, if you have to deal with her you may consider saying something to her like "do you think you'd like it if people were talking about you in that way? It bothers me when you do that." You already know this, but it's okay to advocate for yourself. And don't let toxic people get in the way of a healthy habit like walking. Even if you have to do it alone or with a music player, keep it up. That will help with stress too.
 
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raerob replied to rohvannyn's response:
Thank you for responding to some of my posts. I struggle with some things off and on and I wish I could delete some things I posted. I am getting a little better I appreciate your kind caring words and humor. Thank you so much.
 
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rohvannyn replied to raerob's response:
I'm glad you are starting to feel better. I completely understand wanting to delete some things I've previously written... the same is true for things I've said. We're here if you need to talk. And you are quite welcome.


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