I really messed up.
Rhino2604 posted:
I am a happily marrried man of 12yrs and have a wife that suffers from massive bipolar disorder. It was about a year ago that my wife "crashed" and had to be commited. Long story short she got to go to Vegas this passed weekend on a company paid 4 day weekend. We have been working on her condition together. She in her mind thinks that nobody is attracted to her and had a few drinks down in the resort bar and than called e at 2am to tell me she had not even garnerd a "look" from anybody. All I could do was tell her she is still number 1 in mine eyes and to txt me when she got back to her room. Piece of mind thing for me. Well at 9am I finally get a call saying that she worked up the nerve to be agressive and had sex with a guy from the bar.
I am a bit blown away as I did everything but dare her. It has however given her a huge boost to her self esteem. My question is have I just made her feel 1000 times better at my own expense.
rohvannyn responded:
Unless I'm missing something, I can't see how you messed up here! Sounds like you just said supportive things. Did you suggest that she sleep with another guy? If you did, then I coould understand your feelings, but you should probably forgive her and forget about it unless the behavior continues. I certainly get that you feel betrayed though, I can see why!

It's probably good that she's feeling better about herself- however, it's worrisome that your opinion about her attractiveness seems to mean so much less than the opinion of a stranger... unless it's just the thrill of doing something unusual? I hope you get to feeling better soon in any case. Your words don't tell me that you made her do anything so I don't know why you would feel guilty.

Could her bipolar disorder possibly be affecting her judgement? Even in an open relationship, just hooking up with some random guy is a dangerous thing to do, so if you need to talk to her about it, you can approach things from a caring sort of standpoint.