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    I think I'm depressed??
    An_251766 posted:
    I'm 30 years old, married, and a stay at home mom to 4 kids. My children are ages 6, 5, 3, and I also have a 6 month old. There are moments when I actually enjoy my kids, like when other people are around but then there are other times I could careless about them. Times I feel at my worst are when my husband is not around, example he went to help a family member move into a new house and I would love to help but with 4 kids it would be impossible. So I just get upset that he can leave and I can't. And right now I hear my kids upstairs making a complete mess in the kitchen with craft sand and water, but do I go stop them, no, I'd much rather wait and yell/punish them for making a mess when they are done. I'm too afraid to seek help or talk to my husband about these things and don't know what to do or how to hide it anymore. At times I think my family would be so much better with out me around but then I think who would take care of them. Kinda like they saying "I love you so much that I'd kill you but I won't cause I can't live with out you" that's how I feel most of the time. What to do? I'd rather not go on medications since I'm nursing still.
    itmatsb responded:
    You have so much on your plate with so many very young ones, that most mothers would feel stressed, although most of them will never tell you. But you sound more than stressed. You definitely need to get professional help. You should not be worried about potentially not breast feeding if you feel as bad you are saying. Yours and your children's welfare are at stake. So see a doctor and be willing to take medication. Next you need to tell your husband that you are having a lot of trouble right now. You need more help at home so that you can get out some of the time. If money is an issue, ask your husband to babysit the kids while you go out. You should not feel like a prisoner in your own home. But you must seek help. Do it for the sake of your children. And please don't have more children until your stress gets manageable. You deserve the help. Wish you the very best.

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