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I hate crying
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LostGirl_11 posted:
I cry a lot. I hate it. I've been depressed for about 4 years...but up until last year I concealed it well when needed. last year I sort of exploded and I have never been the same since. I lost people in my life more than I meet them, and it's so hard. Waking up is probably the saddest part of my day because I get so angry that I wake up. I literally yell at my self for not dying in my sleep and I can't take it anymore. I lost all joy in life. My ex boyfriend thinks I am psychotic and constantly calls me names because he thinks I am this way only because of how he treated me. It's so hard to explain to him that it is much deeper than he thinks, but it just hurts me more to explain to him how I feel. The worse part of being depressed for me is the fact that other people have it way worse than I do. I feel like girls getting raped has sadly become so common that I feel pathetic for feeling the affects of it and still not trusting people. I cry as I type this, and I just needed to vent...because no matter how many people are in my life I still feel very alone.
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An_251990 responded:
You have no idea how accurately this portrays me. Most mornings I wake up and just cry because I'm so upset that I've opened my eyes. There's one person in my life I've told about what I'm feeling and it just hurts all the more because they care about me and all I'll do is let them down, so to say. I know what you mean about it feeling not as serious as other things that people go through, that's why I've not gone to counseling. There is so much you're saying that I've felt, I just wanted to tell you you're not alone x
 
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rohvannyn responded:
It's a trap to feel invalidated because others have it worse. I've had to remember that and tell myself that all the time. So what if other people have it worse? You are still suffering, and you still need help! Sounds like your ex-boyfriend needs to treat you better, too. Don't explain to him how you feel if that's too hard, just demand respect. You don't have to take that, even if he does have it wrong.

Why do I say that belief (feeling pathetic because other have it worse) is a trap? Think of it like this. Would you feel wrong in asking for stitches because you had a cut, just because some other person just had an amputation? I hope that made sense.

In the meantime, hang in there. Reach out. People do care.


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