when he says it, it hurts more
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raerob posted:
My husban bought a used mower, the man he purchased it from delivered it. When he delivered it my husband was intoxicated and according to the man, my husband was making remarks about me that could land him in the dog house. The first day we used it, we had issues I tried to get my husband to call him but he wouldn't. Yesterday was our 2nd use, my husband again intoxicated. He chooses to call people when he's in this state of mind. The probable issue was the weight on the seat of the mower. My husband told the man ' look at my wifes fat ass, she's heavier than me and it happened with her too'.....I did not know this until I explained to the man that I was heavier then my husband and the mower did the same thing. I was more hurt and disgusted my husband would make comments like that to a stranger and behind my back. How would you feel? I already feel bad enough about myself
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sem710 responded:
That's not cool. I'm sorry. I would feel awful. That is not a healthy relationship. Is this just when he is depressed or all the time?
 
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raerob replied to sem710's response:
Hi, I have issues with mysellf, depression being a big one. When I posted this I thought I was in the depression forum. I have been checking for comments off and on all day. I think more just to communicate with someone. Maybe I am just so depressed I am feeling sorry for myself. I am not sure. I am trying to figue things out. I babysit my grandaughter and just told my daughter I can't babysit tomorrow, she yelled at me and said ' you can't do this to me' I responded that I was not well, her response was just one more day........ I said you have to think of the best interest of your daughter. I am just so not with it ....now I feel even worse with her angry at me BUT I NEED TIME FOR ME. and to answer your question....my husband is an alcoholic and I let his drinking, behavior and actions effect me in a major way. If I am not crying, I am embarrassed, babysitting a grown man or argueing. I am fed up. The sad thing is, I truly love him BUT the alcoholic him I can not stand most of the time.
 
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rohvannyn replied to raerob's response:
I'm glad you advocated for yourself regarding babysitting. If you had the flu, would she react that way? You need time for yourself, and you need support dealing with your husband's treatment of you. Drinking is no excuse to treat you poorly. He needs help and so do you. Even at my intoxicated (which is rare) I never treat my spouse that way! I really hope you can find some support and help.