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    muzikluvr1 posted:
    I have struggled with severe depression for years. I have been put on more medications than I can count. Where am I now. Still feeling the way I always have. I avoid people, old interests, and even life. My beliefs are that Trauma effects the outcome of depression as well. If you are lucky enought to find a Dr. who will listen that might be part of the battle. Some of them make you feel less than.... I lost my Brother, Uncle, and nephew to suicide. These traumas alone do not help. I have had many surgical procedures to my body from different injuries, and I believe this has caused even more depression. I am lonely all the time, because nobody truly wants to listen. I am now to the point where i just exist, but I do not live! Medication has not worked for me. I think the next step after avoiding life comes ending life. Does anyone understand where I am coming from? Thank you
    BeckaPost responded:
    I think I know exactly how you feel. I have been depressed for almost 7 years now. It is virtually impossible to get anyone to listen and truly try and understand. I'm frustrated with family, friends and doctors. I also have constant back pain and have recently run into the problem of not being able to get my pain medication. That doesn't help the depression. I understand what you mean when you say you exist but you do not live. I don't think I have truly lived in a long time. I know my words don't help the depression, but I certainly hope that it helps knowing you are not alone.
    itmatsb responded:
    Can you get some counseling to help you through a very difficult time with the deaths in your family? Also it sounds like clinical depression is a genetic trait that runs in your family. Have you tried MAO Inhibitors such as Nardil? That is a more unusual one which I felt the best that I ever felt on that one. If have tried it also, then why not try ECT? It is not the nightmare that it was in the past, and it doesn't sound like you have much to lose since you're considering ending life. And all you will be doing is adding more grief to the rest of your family who are already reeling from your family deaths. Get help for yourself. There can be so much more for you, but you probably have forgotten what happiness feels like. You deserve it.

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