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    Depressive cycle or do I need to go?
    stephcard posted:
    Just have been recently diagnosed with depression, but I've probably had it for a good 7 years. Just started getting treated for it about 2 months ago. I've been feeling very down lately and just need to vent. I moved out from my home in TX to CA to live with my bff and her family- husband and three kids. The last few months have been hard because her husband is a jerk and I can't stand him. It culminated with him essentially interrogating me for information on what my bff has been doing. I was uncomfortable and told him so, but he kept on. Ever since then, his very presence irritates me. I don't want to be around him at all. I just am not sure if this is my depression and emotions getting the best of me or if I need to move back home. Any advice would be very helpful. I know I'm in a unique situation, but any advice is welcome. Thank you.
    rohvannyn responded:
    Could he be feeling trapped into having someone who is somewhat a stranger living in his home with his family? Maybe that's why he's acting like a jerk. In this case, I'd say you have two choices: make your peace with him, or find your own home.

    Also, if the husband is acting that badly, I can understand why you woldn't want to be around him. Does your friend know that he interrogated you like that? I think she should.

    I also don't think it's just your depression talking here. There probably is an issue, but it's fixable, one way or the other. Even if you don't want to move back home, you might be able to find your own place, rent a room with someone else, etc. Stay open to possibilities. Take care of yourself, and also ask your best friend's opinion. She knows her husband better than anyone else, after all.

    Good luck!
    stephcard replied to rohvannyn's response:
    Thanks for the input. He's actually the one who invited me to live with them, so we're not strangers. I used to think of him as a big brother, but after the discussion the other day, I no longer do. My best friend was there during the discussion but wasn't allowed to talk. It's very frustrating. I need to take care of myself, but just being around him brings me down. And I don't feel comfortable talking to my friend when he's around because I always feel like we're being listened to/watched, even when we're just hanging out. And he makes her feel guilty for hanging out with me at night when he's home. I dislike how he talks to her and I dislike the fact that she feels stuck in this relationship because she doesn't feel like she can raise her kids on her own. So she tries her best to please him, yet nothing is ever good enough. While this is actually HER problem, not mine, I'm still around and I'm still protective of my best friend and want what's best for her- and that is to be happy. Truly happy. Not fake, trying to make the best of this situation happy. But actual happiness. We'll see what happens. Things have been better, but I pretty much just avoid contact with him as much as possible.
    itmatsb replied to stephcard's response:
    There you've got it when you said, "And he makes her feel guilty for hanging out with me at night when he's home." Does that strike you as strange? Is so, it's probably because you've never been married. A spouse looks forward to having time with their spouse when they are home, already in competition with their children. He may have asked you to live with them, but the reality has turned out differently. I know that you never meant any harm by living with them. For your own sake, as well as theirs, I would move out. And as for your friend, with child support, she probably could raise her kids on her own. But give this couple a chance to work things out by themselves. If nothing else than for the sake of the children to have both parents at home with them. Good luck to you.
    stephcard replied to itmatsb's response:
    Thanks for your reply. We all used to hang out together because we were all friends. It was great. Once their problems started to escalate, they both started doing their own thing at night. And that's continued. I know she could raise them on her own with child support and help from family/friends, but she doesn't think so. Anyway, thank you both for your responses. I appreciate it.

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