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Husband has a new job...
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Mrs_Gantt posted:
I have not posted in a while... For a while I was going to see a therapist and honestly felt like I was doing better and well... Stepped away from here for a while... I am sitting here drinking and taking 3 aleve thinking it will help put me to sleep so I cannot feel the loneliness for the rest of the night...
My husband recently took on a new job. Him and I have discussed this job for the past 2 years and when it finally came open, he jumped on it. He will rarely be home meaning we both sleep alone every night he is away. He will be lucky to be home a few weeks out of the year. I really thought I could handle this and I trust myself to not cheat on him... I just cry myself to sleep almost every night.
I have not been able to get back into therapy since the end of last year. You see... My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of the year so I have been busy taking her to appointments , surgical procedures, etc... On top of that she had all her teeth pulled for dentures and a partial, she is going blind in her only good eye, (Already blind in one eye), and I am about the only one able to take her wherever she needs to go. So my schedule has been pretty busy up until now.
I plan on getting back into therapy but it will be a few more weeks until I can due to a busy schedule.
Neither my husband or I have friend outside of each other. So, while he is away, I am really at a loss. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to and ask each other about the other ones day, and maybe just talk like friends do.
My husband & I speak daily as of right now and Skype a few times a week. I always get so excited to see his chat window come up, a text pop up, or see an incoming call on Skype. It just makes my day... Until I go to bed. I have been thinking about getting a body pillow to see if that will help me but I know the emotional issues will still prevail...
We discussed this job and I do not want him to know how much it is bothering me as we discussed him doing this job for 5 years. Will it get any easier? I do not know. All I know is that right now it is killing me. He is my best friend, my soul-mate, and the world to me.
Peace, Love, and Hugs...
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