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    Self care
    alivings11 posted:
    For me, clinical depression is a blow to the body and the mind. For me to get everything biologically right again, I have a psychiatrist and counselor that I work when I need to. I really recommend creating a support/treatment team because being depressed feels extremely lonely to me and anxiety is just relentless. My best wishes go out to everyone suffering from depression. Until you've experienced it, I don't think anyone can truly understand the toll it takes. Especially as a wife and mom. I always put me last and feel guilty doing anything for just me. And I am looking at 5 baskets of clean clothes wishing they would just fold themselves...
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    4 of 5 found this helpful
    sweetypie295 responded:
    I will come and fold your clothes

    As you recommend a support team I have tried to create one for DH. He doesnt feel he is supported.
    Who is on your team? (I will repost this question for all)
    Best Regards,
    alivings11 replied to sweetypie295's response:
    Thank you so much for your kind offer,sweetiepie! I did actually get two baskets done and you are motivating me to do some more.
    I learned over time that what was best for me was to spend as little time as possible with negative and toxic people and to surround myself with positive and caring people to operate at my best. Some of the toxic people are in my family, so it's a dance. My sister died of cancer when we were younger but I was not properly diagnosed until my teenage years with depression. I have a few people I have shared with that I have recurrent major depression. My team is my husband, my dad, two co-workers, and three close friends. Medically, I have a great psychiatric nurse practitioner and a counselor. These are the folks that are okay with me being me when I'm not so hot. With everyone else I try to have that "fake it til you make it" mask on til I get better. I think your efforts to help DH are terrific. Through trial and error, I have found that it helps, no matter how awful I am feeling, to tell my hubby how wonderful he is and how I appreciate him taking care of me and then I make sure he goes to the jui jitsu classes he loves. And, he's going to have a few individual sessions with a counselor so that he can be heard. I have my own individual sessions. He tells me that it's difficult to talk to his friends about his wife going through clinical depressions and he feels trapped. I think it will help him to get gain some insight. For quite a while we dealt with resentment because he thought there were times when I just chose not to do anything and he had to do a lot more around the house and with our son. He is closer to understanding that it's not a choice. Who would make that choice? Hope this helps. Take care!
    sweetypie295 replied to alivings11's response:
    Congratz on getting your folding done!! I like folding while watching tv
    Thanks for sharing.
    Depression has its ups & downs.
    From what you say & I hear else where it must be hard for men some times more than women to discuss and feel they are heard. DH feels no one cares his therapist & phych ticked him off & now I am working to get him to see someone new.
    I am so glad your husband & you have a wonderful support system. I congradulat you on that.
    Best Regards!!! ((hug))
    alivings11 replied to sweetypie295's response:
    Sweetiepie, thank you and I hope you are having a great day!
    shadowrose7 responded:
    I am not a mom. not yet anyway, eventually though. I have been depressed too. I am taking medicence now. I am alot better.
    Before I felt like I was in this thick fog mentally. Like my mind couldn't find a way out. My body was lacking energy. I want to go a do stuff, but i felt without enough energy to do even menial errands.
    I am like a I want to save the world person, so I felt selfish when I do stuff for myself. But I am working on my me time so I don't have a nervouse break down and I Deserve to have me time. If I don't take care of my self who will.
    I am learning it is okay to spend some time for myself and that sometimes somethings can wait 5 minutes while I have a moment to relax.
    I hope you at least pencil in some you time. Be a mom is hard or have a spa day even if it is at home. treat yourself in whatever way you see fit.

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