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    Please help...emergency advice needed
    Anon_230861 posted:
    My boyfriend of over 10 years is diabetic and does not take care of himself. I have begged and begged and begged him to get help and to take his medicine regularly and to eat better and to test his blood sugar, and it has been a true battle for the whole time we've been together. He does not have medical insurance and only gets medicine b/c his mom works in a doctor's office and is able to get pity from a couple of the doctors and drug reps. He says he can't get on Medicaid but has never actually applied. It is an ongoing fight with us. He hasn't held a regular job in a long time because he feels so sick all the time and sleeps soooooo much. The few times he ever checks his blood sugar it is dangerously high and he just gets angry with me when I say anything about it. I am just in a panic lately and have been a weeping mess and he says "I"m the one who needs comfort and now I have to comfort you" and it is killing me inside. I love him so much and I feel like I'm just watching him die. He is in his mid thirties and was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes around age 12 or 13. He was on oral medication but it wasn't working and he is now taking the Byetta pin but not really properly as he should.
    The major horrible thing that happened was he had to take a drug test for a possible job and it revealed his creatinine levels were very very high. From what I recall, they were about 10-20 times normal level. I freaked out but he won't tell anyone b/c he failed that drug test and he is scared to tell his mother or a doctor (he smoked marijuana in the weeks before and that is why he failed). What can I do? He now has sores coming out on his body that aren't healing and his lip is cracked and not healing. He has a huge knot the size of a baseball or larger in his groin area and he talked his mom into getting him infection medicine (the kind they use for MRSA) but it isn't making it any smaller. He also has a bad place on the top of his foot that looks like poison oak but it won't heal. I'm scared to death and I don't know what to do. He says he is going to the doctor tomorrow, but I've heard that before. What should I do to convince him to go to the hospital? He is very very worried about money and has no medical insurance. We are both on unemployment right now. PLEASE HELP
    arealgijoe responded:
    High creatinine levels is often associated with KIDNEY issues. Most places have FREE or sliding scale clinics.

    He is in TROUBLE...BIG trouble. What about his mom? can she help get him into a doc? (maybe with your help).

    He has to take charge of HIS diabetes, NO ONE can do it for him. I don't know but I suspect the weed is NOT the major issue, maybe a contributor but would be a barrier to employment at most places???? Sounds more like just an EXCUSE to me to avoid doctoring.

    Healing is an issue with ALL diabetics, with uncontroled diabetes the problems are much bigger and more serious.

    All you can do is support him & TRY to get him to treatment, & see a DOCTOR ASAP.

    Good luck!

    phototaker responded:
    I have one question for you, since this is also affecting your own mental and health state.

    Why are you continuing to be with him? Love is NOT enough....not when you're constantly feeling sick about someone is not willing to help himself.

    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it.
    Get out "before" you bring a child into this situation. This is just my opinion from an outsider...
    auriga1 responded:
    I can see you're frightened. Of course, this doesn't help either o you. Please, please don't be an enabler. You can see that he doesn't want to do anything to help himself, at the moment.

    You have a computer. See if he can appy online for help with Medicaid. He does not know unless he tries. I applied through the mail years ago. Didn't have to go anywhere.

    There are many towns and cities that have clinics for those that cannot pay a lot. The fees are minimal. As long as you have proof you live there, you will get in.

    My heart goes out to you, but you need to put your foot down. Hard to do when you love someone so much. If you don't do something, things are not going to get better. Assert yourself rather than watch him destroy himself.
    brunosbud replied to phototaker's response:

    I agree.

    Although, you aren't the first person to stay with another to their own demise, you surely won't be the last.

    Good or bad, we all do what we have to do. Just as he won't listen, you won't leave. The good news is, something will change...


    PS: There are thousands of people seeing doctors with no insurance.

    Yesterday, I helped my mother's good friend obtain free prescription drug assistance because she reached the donut hole in her coverage and she couldn't afford her share...She went the last month in total agony. Outrageous! I called her doctor for two weeks of free samples until her gap help is approved. I also got 25% off her electric bill and $65 worth of groceries/wk for next to nothing...

    If you're low income, the help is there...You just got to tap it.

    Get busy!

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