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What to do...living with non understanding non diabetic.
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MockBe posted:
I am now A1-C 6.0...considered to be controled. I do the best I can and yet every day is different when it comes to how high and low my blood sugars get. It took a while, but I know what to do to make them right when they go to extreme.
My problem is, that I live with a non diabetic, who has never dealt with this desease before. Every couple weeks, I have to deal with their yelling at me telling me I like to be sick. I love them very much, and I know it is not healthy to live with abuse. But I somehow feel like I am no fun to live with. My body is always doing something. I hate being sick with anything. But I do know to lay down if I am feeling bad.
How do I get this ignorance to stop?....They say they know about diabetes, and tell me I don't take care of it right. If only they could walk in my shoes. I don't even say "I am doing the best I can." anymore.
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DianeR01 responded:
Hi Rich,

It is good to see you again. You are in a tough situation. Have you tried to sit down and talk it out when things are not out of control?

I would make it clear that being diabetic does not make one sick. It means one has a situation to control to keep you from being sick. That said, I would be careful to say "no thank you" rather than "I can't, I'm diabetic"

Hope this helps...
accelerate out of the corners
 
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MockBe replied to DianeR01's response:
hi dianer01
good to be back...i really had been away from here...so much to deal with having to deal with loss of loved ones a total of six in four years....
well, i have done everything you suggest and more, but it all falls on deaf ears. it is not worth leaving and uprooting my livliehood...it is just very annoying. this is who i am...a diabetic.
 
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brunosbud responded:
"...If only they could walk in my shoes..."

I always use that particular saying with grave caution...

You know, that cuts both ways?



"I am doing the best I can."


In any relationship, happiness requires the understanding that one can "control" certain aspects of one's life...

and, people ain't one of 'em...




 
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MockBe replied to brunosbud's response:
so true.
i really am staying focussed on myself. it sucks that anyone needs to say stuff that hurts. i can see how my dealing with my blood sugars can be annoying as i am always on the go running to the kitchen, or walking out the door to walk it off, or having to lay down .... i know how to care for me... but i think it must look as though i am screwwwwy.
 
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phototaker replied to MockBe's response:
Hello Mock Be... I know you were on when I first started or after.

I have a few questions for you, only because I have some high numbers sometimes. Mine is because I've eaten too many carbs at one sitting.

My questions to you are this.

1) Do you take medicine for your diabetes? (insulin, oral meds)or are you doing this like me without medicine?

2) Are you eating a certain amount of carbs each meal OR are you having more, which would make your numbers go up?

If your diabetes is uncontrollable, AND you're doing all the right things, I suggest you go back to your doctor and talk to him/her about this. If you're not on medicine and doing all the right things, think about taking oral medicine. If you're on insulin, you should talk to your doctor, if it's causing highs and lows. You shouldn't have to live this way.

If your partner is upset, AND you're doing all the right things for your diabetes, stress will make it worse. Are you in business together? Why are you considering staying when someone is hurting you this much with words? It might be good to talk to someone, a therapist or someone else to help with how you're feeling.
 
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davedsel57 responded:
If your friend can not accept, understand or support your being diabetic then I honestly think you should consider terminating this relationship. This person sounds very controlling and abusive. You would be much better off without them.
Blessings,

Dave
 
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MockBe replied to phototaker's response:
hi photo..
yes, i always enjoyed your feedback...
well..i am on glipizide oral twice a day, and once a day januvia.
i know for me i seem to do good, but there are times that i must eat too much protien, or not enough carbs when i am on the run, and i will drop...but lately i am getting some highs...for me a high is 180 and up....i know 180 doesn't sound like much, but it is higher than i normally get, and so it feels yucky. i think now that i have to work three jobs, my body struggles to keep up, and the achey pain i get might be the culprit of these highs.
when i refer to "my partner", i mean lifepartner...as we have been together fifteen years. he thinks he understands diabetes, but i disagree....
 
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MockBe replied to davedsel57's response:
hi dave..
i agree, yet at the same time, it is lessons that can be learned, if only i don't go crazzy....my partner is very forward, and opinionated....quite annoying....although his positives outweigh the negatives. i just would like to get him to see the truth of how i am doing the right things keeping my type 2 in line. in the past it has been that with other annoying ignorant statements from him on other issues, i notice it is hit and miss with finding the right way of explaining....i am very calm, and have seen how even that can help.
 
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DianeR01 replied to MockBe's response:
rich:

have you tried taking your partner to a doctors appointment and soliciting feedback from the doc? Maybe some outside affirmation you are doing well could take some pressure off?

just a thought

di
accelerate out of the corners
 
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phototaker replied to MockBe's response:
Have you ever just sat down with your life partner and calmly talked about how you're feeling, and how this makes it harder for you? Honestly, if I had someone on my back (like my husband was), it would do me in. I took it for 12 years,(lost some self esteem), until I got some therapy and the therapist agreed, it would be better for me to be alone than with someone who was so controlling and critical. I'm SO MUCH happier now, HAPPY! Do I miss having a special someone, yes...but I will NEVER accept someone criticizing me again. Life is too short to be unhappy.
 
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Denial741974 responded:
I can definitely understand where you come from, my mom has my best friend lives in Florida is not a diabetic, she always tells me you have to be perfect in your diabetes exercising walking everything right. It makes he feel when I talked to her on the phone it's like am on pins and needles. I know she loves me very much and she wants the best for me. She knows me by the book then I don't try but she don't understand diabetics trying but we still fail and it makes me feel then after the phone call. I know where you're coming from. And did I mention I am very lazy and mit that's but at time, for the past two months or so I been walking with a friend and have a lot of fun. But mom would say you're good exercising your legs not to hope body it's very frustrating when she saves that and at times we get an argument but am learning with my coping skills with my meant illness don't take everything personal what she say. When I tell her I did 12 laps she would say did you movie arms, it's like no pleasing her at all, but am working very hard to are will come not let my meant illness get out-of-control again mom talked to mom on the phone. Today was little calm but I was starting to get upset but before that I got there I told mom we talked enough on the let you go and that's what I did. I was proud of myself group.Den
no denial anymore in my health, it's a learning experience
 
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Denial741974 replied to phototaker's response:
photo, I'm working hard in my meant illness. Yes I had a nice talk with mom but she frustrates me. I think it's a little bit my fault because I wanted to be proud of me. Yes she's proud of me for the last couple days in my meant illness, but not being a diabetic I haven't been exercising because of my legs, mon mom wants me to work on my upper above arms and shoulder. I just wanted be proud but she's not she's happy the past but she's a hard person to please, but I handle myself good today when I was talking to on the phone. I notice I dreamed her we were talking about my exercise then she said you're not doing it best I just want her approval. But I came to subject and we talked about something else.she does love me very much she just wants me do everything right my diabetes, yes I admit to her so many times I'm very lazy but I do walk on a gravel track one my leg was hurting but the past month it been hurting a lot. Mom feels that say excuse because you this don't do body strength my arms and shoulder. But the truth is and the truth is I'm lazy to work on my arms and put weights. But I told her I will store walking one I see the orthopedic and see what's going on. I don't want to walking until I know it's okay for me to walk again, do you agree with me. I don't want to hurt myself even worse. But right now all day today I sat on the computer and play PC games there person shooting games. DEN
no denial anymore in my health, it's a learning experience
 
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DavidHueben replied to Denial741974's response:
Den:

I seems from afar that every time you call your lady friend ("mom") in Florida that you get upset and frustrated about your diabetes control. Maybe you need to follow the advice of your PCP in Pennsylvania, your psychiatrist, your therapist, your caseworker, and your "peer specialist" and ignore her advice.

You are not obligated to make her feel proud of you. If she is old enough to be your grandmother and has health problems herself, you should probably find something else to talk about. How about talking about her health problems and giving her some support?

DMH
We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.

- Winston S. Churchill




 
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Denial741974 replied to DavidHueben's response:
David you're absolutely right, mom does upset me, because anything I do she's not happy. I know deep down she loves me, and she wants the best but she goes the wrong way sometime. But am learning to use my coping skills with her. And not act up and whining and getting upset, mom feels I should exercise all the time and walking. Like I told her my legs really hurt, I'm going to the orthopedic soon. This week and I'll see what's going on, but if you all know I fractured my leg 10th grade in high school. So good thank you David the advice I'll try not to take so personal with mom but I do love her very much. I'll work with my caseworker therapists and peer specialist, what a cpu that's the terminology I don't understand. Den
no denial anymore in my health, it's a learning experience


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