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    Husband of wife recently diagnosed type 2 diabetes
    danolds182 posted:
    My wife was diagnosed earlier this week with diabetes. She struggles with weight and her family has a history of diabetes. I am 135lbs, thin, and relatively healthy. The past couple of days we have gotten into arguments because of our disconnect when it comes to this. She says I'm not taking the time to be supportive.

    Question is, how can I be supportive? I am really worried about her and not sure what I can do to get her to eat healthier, work out, and show I care. I don;t want to lose my wife.
    davedsel57 responded:

    Probably the best thing you can do is learn all you can about diabetes. Here is a link to the excellent WebMD Diabetes Health Center:

    One you understand the disease and how to manage it, you can encourage your wife to make wiser choices and change her lifestyle. Even though you are relatively healthy, you can live the proper lifestyle as an example to help your wife. Go on walks with her. Help her grocery shop and buy healthy foods. Make wiser choices with her at restaurants. Work with her so the two of you can have a long, healthy life together.
    Click on my user name or avatar picture to read my story.


    brunosbud responded:
    Your problem is not uncommon. Couples have differing opinions on politics, religion and raising children. And, any trip to walmart or home depot will confirm that many couples, clearly, do not share the same opinion on what is a healthy weight to carry. My wife and I do not share the same opinion about dining at restaurants of any kind. She enjoys it; I don't. So, she gives me a free pass. On the other hand, I enjoy cleaning house and yard work and she doesn't. She gets a free pass. And, we both have our own dog and we both love taking walks with them in the evenings...No pass needed. It aint rocket science. Don't argue, trade "passes" and compliment, compliment, compliment. That's a healthy recipe for us.
    auriga1 responded:
    Well, the age old problem of arguments. Does your wife realize her weight may be detrimental to her health? Losing some weight can help her a long way regarding diabetes.

    Has she gone to any diabetes classes? Talked with other diabetics? Has her doctor recommended a dietician to help with weight loss and better numbers to control her diabetes? A dietician can give her a guideline with the amount of calories she should consume per day and the amount of carbohydrates consumed per meal. A well-balanced diet with lean protein and complex carbs can include fats that are healthy, such as the unsaturated and monosaturated fats.

    Take a walk with her, and if you have a dog, take him or her. Good for all involved. Go grocery shopping with her. Print out a list of foods that you both like and are healthy for both.

    Diabetes is a disease of carbohydrate metabolism. Carbohydrates are the enemy and need to monitored closely. It's not just giving up sweets and anything with sugar. She should look closely at nutrition labels.

    One step at a time because this all can be overwhelming. Don't bombard her with everything at once. Baby steps. It takes a little getting used to.
    MikeDM responded:
    You can best help her by working with her as a partner and learning all about the problem and how to mitigate it. You both should take educational classes on the disease and read the wonderful articles in WebMD and other magazines. Work with your endocrinologist and staff. If you both take this seriously, and work together to limit the situation, it is possible to better her overall health from where it was before by using the proper methods of attacking the problem.
    janairocky responded:
    Your wife was just diagnosed last week! It takes time to learn how to manage diabetes. Arguing with her is NOT supportive. Just because it's easy for you to lose weight doesn't mean it's easy for her. She's a woman; the older she is, the harder it is to lose weight. Arguing will only make her want to eat more out of frustration.
    If you want to show her you care: Learn with her how to manage diabetes, tell her you would like to make a plan with her and help her succeed by going for walks, dancing with her or playing. Tell her you understand it will take some time to learn how to eat healthy (for the rest of her life) and that you are there for her to help her and love her.
    georgiaboy replied to janairocky's response:
    I agree with Janairocky. Arguing is not supportive. Go to classes with her, go see her doctor, a dietitian together. I've found out I have diabetes in July. It's a rough road that she has to go through. I know. I've lost thirty eight pounds so far and it's not easy having to watch what and how much you eat. Wife was at first telling me all the time about how so and so eats this and so and so eats that. I always had to tell her that I didn't care what they did and do that I have to do things different. Not all things work for everyone. All of us are different and what will work for one might not for another. Plus consider she's probably had the hell scared out of her when she found out plus the fact that diabetics will never be cured. We have to control this all of our lives and she's going to have a rough start of it. Go to classes with her and see a dietitian to help her find a plan to work with on getting a start. Put any differences you personally have on diabetes aside and work with her.

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