I am in desperate need of a swift kick in the you-know-what. I am a 30 year diabetic. I have been on an insulin pump for nearly 8 years. The last two years have been horrible. I am not exercising, eating poorly, not checking my bg, and just all around a mess. I am so sick of this disease. I have been sticking my head in the sand and just playing ignorant. My A1C's have been in the 8-9 range. My cholesteral is rising. My triglycerides are on the rise too. I have gained nearly 50 lbs. I need help but do not know who to turn to.
I sincerely do not know how to help someone who can't or won't help themselves. You know you are doing damage to your body by staying on this track.
Please ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist or someone you can talk to. I realize there are just times that we can't wrap our head around everyday living when things get you so down in the dumps.
My mother passed away from diabetic complications because she woudn't take care of herself. I miss her. We all miss her because it didn't have to happen. I'm one of five children and the only one diagnosed with diabetes. Type 2 and insulin dependent. Went through the "why me" stuff and was angry and depressed. I was never overweight and ate right. Exercised, too.
I use two insulins since diagnosis and probably will for the rest of my life because my doctor believes my pancreas more or less quit on me. I DO NOT WANT to go down the road my mother took. She wasn't paying any attention to her diabetes and it took a toll on her. She lost her kidneys and had amputations. Everything finally just shut down completely.
My first A1C was 13.2. I now sit at 5.6 It was hard at first trying to figure out just about everything from what to eat, when to eat, how much insulin to take, when to exercise, how long to sercise. I've pretty much succeeded and want to keep it this way.
Think of others in your life; family and friends. They would like to keep you around, I'm sure. You will feel better physically when you can get things under control. When you feel better physically, your mind will follow. Call your doctor and get some help.
From my perspective, knowledge is power, and it looks to me, despite your lifestyle, you know a lot about the disease...what it can do...how it attacks. The people who are most successful in controlling diabetes are straight "A" students of the disease. Isn't it about time to put that fear of god and obvious "knowledge" to good use?
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